Notes from the the latest trip (#11)....We went back to Cambodia for a two-week trip; basically to visit Sakha's family and to have some fun. The trip over went fine, no snags, and we landed in Phnom Penh about noon. I'm sure you'll find this hard to believe, but it was hot there, about 5,000 degrees or so and the humidity was roughly 350%. It did rain a lot and that knocked out some of the stuff we were going to do. Other than that, it was nice.
There's a LOT of construction going on all over the place. The central market is all torn up because they're redoing the interior. But everywhere else there is massive building and construction going on too. Lots of empty lots we saw now have buildings on them and many others are in various stages of construction. My plan to retire there may end up with me being priced out of the market.
Instead of staying in a hotel, we opted to stay at Sakha's old home this time (mom's home, basically). Normally this wouldn't have been an option because in order to keep the wheel turning financially, I gotta have frequent, reliable internet access. And in Cambodia I want/need occasional exposure to an air-conditioned room (especially for sleeping).
Over the last several months my wife sent her mom enough money to do two things:
install air-conditioning and sign up for internet service. This is like coming of age in Phnom Penh, frankly, and sets them apart from a lot of people. Few have air-conditioning and fewer still have in-home internet.
The number of families that have both is vanishingly small compared to the overall population. My guess? Maybe 5% have air-conditioning *and* in-home internet, but that's just a guess. I doubt it's more than that.
So, with those two items available the need to stay at a hotel was essentially eliminated. The only downside was that we didn't get to gorge at the all-you-can-eat bacon bar at the Phnom Penh Hotel, but then my arteries were probably better off for it.
My Mega-Cute NephewI got to finally meet my nephew, Bu Quan. He's very active and very smart, and he already speaks Khmer, Vietnamese and Chinese. Frickin' amazing. He pegs the Cute-O-Meter.
Sakha and my adorable little nephew Bu Quan
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/sakha_and_buquan.jpg)
[...................../.]Cute-O-MeterThis trip was a lot more relaxed- no frantic running around and dashing here and there...it was just a "do whatever we feel like" kind of trip. I spent a lot of time just talking with everyone I met, hearing about what they do and stuff.
At one place we ran across this police officer who had just gotten issued his fancy new motorcycle a few days ago. He was really proud of it so I took a picture of him. Pretty spiffy looking if ya ask me. This is one of the guys that guards or patrols the tourist spots and monuments.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/proud_cop.jpg)
Sakha and I took the whole crew out to "Tonle Bassac" (//vny!://tonlebassac.com/) buffet the first night- me, Sakha, mom, Smey, Thida, Ti (her husband), Bu Quan (my cute-as-a-bug nephew), and Ti's mom. Tonle Bassac was as good as ever. I think I mentioned that I avoided the sampling the Goat Balls this time. Among many other things, I ate some strips of "crocodile fried in a garlic sauce" and it wasn't bad.
We did a little bit of shopping, stocking up on a load of T-shirts for gifts and I did get my son a fancy new MP3 player. It's actually a whole lot more than just an MP3 player- it reads ebooks, takes pictures, shoots video (!!), has a full English dictionary, built-in games, and plays movies. It also has a voice recorder, picture gallery, and takes up to a 4G chip for storage. It's a hell of a lot of hardware packed into a business-card sized gadget, and
it was a whopping $20. I should have bought two, lol. It says it's made by Sony, but I doubt it. (A *lot* of stuff over there carries the Sony logo that's probably never seen the inside of an actual Sony factory.)
Loss Prevention, Cambodian StyleThis is a security guard at the Hot Market. He's about 19 years old.
They really frown on shoplifting at the Hot Market. Despite the machine gun, he was very friendly and was quite willing to let me take a picture
of him.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/loss_prevention.jpg)
Browsing around in the Soryea Mall I saw a cool phone, which I mentioned earlier. Yes, I am a sucker for a cool phone, even if I already have one. Or two.
But this phone was too cool to pass up...it's a Chinese brand phone, which most people over there regard as junk but I liked it enough to plunk down $100 for it.
It's like an iPhone on steroids, sort of. It's a touch-screen phone with the usual buttons at the bottom, but it also has a tiny little trackball that is pretty handy to use. It takes 2 SIM cards, so you can have two different numbers in the phone (from two different carriers if you want). Cool, no?
It has a load of apps and stuff, plus it also receives TV and plays it rather nicely. Not much use here since everything is cable now, but it worked well over there. Unfortunately the manual is in Chinese and we couldn't figure out how to get the f*cking cover off to insert the SIM or extra battery. We had to go back and have the 12 year-old girl that ran the booth show me how to open it up. She rolled her eyes and everything. How embarrassing, lol. Sakha explained that I couldn't figure out how to open it (despite over 3,000 hours of electronics training). The girl took the phone, popped the cover off in like 2 seconds, and handed it back. I felt really really thmart right about then yessiree...
I like it, but it's big compared to my old phone and I'm still not convinced that the whole touch-screen thing is worth it. I've carried it for a week now, and I still don't know if I'll stick with it. If not, look for it on Craigslist.
We hit a supplies store and got mom a ton of staple goods- 100 lbs of rice, plus sugar, oil, laundry detergent, etc etc...about enough stuff to last her roughly 2 full years.
We also went out and got Sakha's mom a new TV (one made in this century), a big ol' flat screen job- was $900 normally but since it was the last one in stock and someone knew someone who knew the store owner's neighbor's dentist's cousin, we got it for $400. For $20 we got someone to come out and hang it on the wall and hook it up and stuff. Friggin thing has a menu like the Space Shuttle but once it's all setup you can blink at it and it'll change channels and adjust the volume.
The AC unit and the TV, both wall-mounted.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/ac_and_tv.jpg)
The TV Terrorizer - Mwuahahahaha!Before I left I bought a tiny little gadget called a "TV Terrorizer" that works like a secret universal TV remote control. You can find them online for about $5 or so and it's very small- about the size of a pack of matches.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/tvterrorizer.jpg)
You point it at a TV and hold down a button on it and it scans through a huge list of TV command signals trying to to find a setting that matches the TV. When you see the "Mute" indicator appear you let go of the button. Once you do that it can completely control the TV.
It's a lot of fun in bars and other public places.
Well, let me tell ya- it works!
Mwuahahaha! I tried it on every TV I saw from Seattle to Taipei to Phnom Penh and I couldn't find one it didn't work on.
For example, the airport in Taipei has a great big wall of 8 *huge* TVs that run promos and junk, and while we were there I went and changed them to different channels. Five minutes later some airport staff guy would come out, do a double-take, and then unlock a litle box on the wall where they keep the remote. He'd change them all back, one by one. I'd stand back about 20 feet and *click* change them all at once back to something else.
It's so small you can hide it in your hand and no one can see it. I had a lot of fun with this little gadget in the malls, stores, resturants, airports, etc etc. Suggested use: find a sports game on TV somewhere, wait until some winning play is just about to be made, and then change the channel. Listen to the screams. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Last but not least I got my one of my friends a bunch of meds- some Glucophage and some Prednisone. No prescription required, just go in and tell them what you need and how many boxes you want. I got him a 700 Glucophage pills for ~$50 and a boatload of Prednisone for about the same amount. Tho$e med$ would co$t $everal hundred buck$ here and that'$ not including the mandatory doctor vi$it$ to authorize the refill$.
If you can buy it that cheaply there, why does it cost so much here? Yeah, you have to wonder, don't you? It's the same exact stuff, just at 1/10th the cost.
Tourist CopsThey have a LOT of different kinds of police in Cambodia, all responsible for different things like traffic, water, drugs, business, security, etc etc.
I saw this police motorcycle on the way back from Kompong Som:
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/tourist_police1.jpg)
Look closer at the decal on the front:
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/tourist_police2.jpg)
"
Tourist Police". Yes, a dedicated group of police just for
people like me. I feel so....special.
I mentioned earlier that we went out to the famous "
777" cafe for breakfast. We went there several times, but then there was a
3-day holiday and the whole city shut down. Almost all the businesses, restaurants,
everything closes for 3 days.
The streets were damn near empty; it was kind of creepy. And tragically, the 777 was closed, Oh Noes! I looked across the street and there was another little sidewalk breakfast place that was open, so we went there. It was named the
"778". No, really. It turns out that the names they use are the street address, but the 777 is far more famous because the three numbers are the same (which apparently is a big deal). So, we ate at the 778 and I could hardly tell the difference.
The grill at the "777 Cafe", an open-air breakfast joint. 
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/777cafe.jpg)
Okaaaaaaaay, lets see....
Boiling oil in a big dish with no lid-
CHECK.
An open flame directly below the boiling oil-
CHECK.
Wobbly broken wheel on the grill table-
CHECK.
What could possibly go wrong?? 
(//vny!:///forums/richedit/smileys/Shocked/5.gif)
Well, for one thing, if it tipped over a nice big flood of flaming oil would pour right across where we were sitting, killing us all. This made me kind of nervous so we relocated to a table on the other side.
Another thing about the holiday is that the
police take those three days off. I'm not kidding, I didn't see a cop anywhere and we drove all over. They're not on duty anywhere. No cops meant we didn't have to wear helmets, yay! I mention this because the Phnom Penh Police have now begun enforcing the helmet law there and anyone without a helmet gets waived over and fined instantly. They also require mirrors to be mounted on the motos now (another offense that they'll fine you for). And when I say "fine", I mean
they put the money in their pocket and tell you to move on. It's the purest form of corruption I've ever seen- there isn't even a
pretense that the money will find its way back to the government, and everyone knows it.
The Value Of a Realistic-Looking International Drivers LicenseNow, I've been dinged (caught and fined) by the cops in Phnom Penh before, several times in fact. I decided this time was gonna be different. So, being the [span style="text-decoration: line-through;"]criminal[/span] resourceful guy that I am, I made myself an "International Drivers License" before I left the US.
An hour in Photoshop, a laminator, and *
boom*, I was licensed to drive almost anywhere in the world, as well as on the Lunar surface. It looks very official, better than the real thing if I do say so myself.
(//vny!:///forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif) (
Note: the 'seal' at the top is actually the seal from the American Cattlemen's Association, but it looked good so I used it. The lower seal is from the Department of Defense, lol.)
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/INTDL_4.png)
I look appropriately stern in this official picture, don't I?To make a long story longer, it worked like a f*cking charm. I got waived over for "jumping the light" (also known as "driving while white") and they wanted to fine me an
additional amount for not having a Cambodian Drivers License.
Not so fast, my good man, look here- and I handed him my "license". See, it says right there that I'm "licensed" to drive in Germany, the Republic of China, The Kingdom of Cambodia, Vietnam, Australia, Namibia, Norway, Canada, Thailand, and South America. My brother-in-law translated this to him and pointed out the part that said "Kingdom of Cambodia", which of course the cop couldn't read cuz it was in English and was in very, very small letters (6-point type, ha ha!)
The cop was disappointed but still wanted money.
No way Jose. I was firm as hell. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? I was committed at this point and couldn't back down. I told him (with my brother-in-law translating) that I wasn't giving him a dime and that he could call the US Embassy if he wanted. Either way I wasn't paying him anything, period, end of story. And I just sat on my moto as defiant as could be, but secretly I was worried as hell that he wouldn't back down. I have no idea what the US Embassy would do to me if they caught me forging an International Drivers License but I was pretty sure they wouldn't laugh and say, "
Jolly good show! How creative!"
After quite a bit of arguing I started raising my voice a bit. "
NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY. CALL THE US EMBASSY." The thing is that cops in Phnom Penh who screw up can get in trouble. If he messed up, he'd be sweeping the streets in Angkor Wat by the end of the week cuz pissing off tourists without a good cause is frowned upon. In the end he accepted my "license" (
YESSSSSS!) and off we went, without paying anything. Thank you Photoshop! (I'll admit, I was worried there for a bit. But having big balls and false documents carried the day.)
Later we went to the Hot Market for some rings and shirts and stuff but couldn't find what we wanted (some dried fish), so we went to the
Hotter Market. I didn't know there was a Hotter Market, but sure as hell there is. It was about 150 degrees inside and roughly 720% humidity. The humidity was so high that I could have used SCUBA gear to walk around. Sakha bought ten kilos of the dried fish she wanted, which they wrapped very securely (it's rather pungent).
Black Panther BeerI saw this while out shopping...
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/black_panther_beer.jpg)
Hey, who knew that the
Black Panthers had their own brand of beer? And I thought they were just revolutionaries.
Buying Chicken at the Orussey MarketSanitation is not a big concern at the Orussey Market, as you can see. Everything is just left out in the open where the flies can get to it. Notice the lack of shoes on the vendor. We don't need no stinkin' shoes.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/buying_chicken.jpg)
Seriously, I couldn't bring myself to buy meat here. My workshop is cleaner than this. No shoes on this vendor either (kind of hard to see).
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/meat_market.jpg)
Sakha and Smey buying dried fish. Most of the vendors sit up on these little platforms with the food at
their feet, or sometimes in open bins, baskets, etc. Again, no shoes worn, so if her feet touch your food
you'll just have to deal with it.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/buying_fish.jpg)
Cashews. Lots of Cashews. I love cashews. While we were at the Orussey Market I saw some nifty little vacuum packed blocks of cashews, about 3" x 3" x 1". I thought they'd make nice gifts and so I pointed to them, held up 5 fingers and told the lady "
five please". She didn't speak English, but she bustled around and started bagging stuff up. I *really* should have been paying closer attention...it turns out she thought I meant 5 [span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"]kilos[/span]. So yes, I am the proud owner of
11 pounds of cashews- practically a lifetime supply for me. We gave a bunch away before we left but we still came home with 8 or 9 pounds of cashews, lol.
I did get a kick-ass cowboy hat for under $10 and several pairs of camouflage pants for $5 dollars each. The hat is actually really nice- it'd be $50 in the US at least (
and what better place to buy a cowboy hat than Cambodia?). I also accidentally squashed my camera and broke it, so we bought another one at Fuji Film, very similar to what I had.
The rain prevented us from going to the
Machine Gun Range, where you can shoot a variety of machine guns (M16s, AK47s, and even a .50 cal Ma Deuce!) and (apparently) even throw hand grenades. I don't know what it all would have cost but it would have been worth it, whatever it was.
Wah. I was really looking forward to that. We also got rained out of going to the Genocide Museum (also called the Holocaust Museum), a place that documents Pol Pots insane reign of terror. It's actually the feared "S-21 Prison" (//vny!://www.killingfieldsmuseum.com/s21-victims.html), remade into a museum. "
Of the 14,000 people known to have entered, only seven survived."
I couldn't resist the next couple of pictures. The first is some more typical street wiring. Holy *#&%!.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/more_wiring.jpg)
You just gotta love the free-form nature of the electrical hookups in Phnom Penh.
And you didn't think you were going to get away without some mannequin pics, did you?
(//vny!:///forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif)
I might have shot this one before, but I can't remember (and I'm too lazy to check):
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/screamer2.jpg)
A classic
SCREAMER-style mannequin with rainbow hair!
I just don't know what to make of this one. Is it Kurt Cobain? A serious case of Chocolate Hair syndrome.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/mannequin5.jpg)
Welcome, Neighbor!A lot of the private homes in Phnom Penh have measures designed to keep the riffraff out, like this one below:
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/welcome_wire1.jpg)
Yep, that's
razor wire, also known as "[a href="vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concertina_wire (//vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concertina_wire)"]concertina wire[/a]", a type of barbed wire that's especially nasty to get hung up on. Here's a closer shot:
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/welcome_wire2.jpg)
Remember, nothin' says, "Welcome, neighbor!" like concertina wire.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/welcome_wire3.jpg) 
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/welcome_wire4.jpg) 
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/welcome_wire5.jpg)
Believe me, you
don't want to try getting through that stuff. It was used to great effect in WWI and WW2 to keep enemy combatants from storming the battle lines, so it'll probably keep you out without too much trouble. The tops of the walls also have
jagged bits of glass emb edded into the mortar for that extra special "cut yo' ass real bad" touch. Concertina wire isn't usually seen in the
Better Homes and Gardens magazine photo shoots, but it's a common feature here.
When It Rains, it POURS. I Mean, It REALLY Pours.When it rains in Phnom Penh, you're pretty much stuck wherever you happen to be at the moment. If you're outside you take refuge under the closest awning. If you're inside, you just stay there. Only the hardiest/craziest folks will try to go anywhere in the rain. My brother-in-law and I got caught in the rain on the way back from the "VIP Sports Club" (basically a pool) and toughed it out, but it was pretty bad. It's almost impossible to drive because the rain comes down so hard.
Problem is, you never know if the rain will last 10 minutes or 6 hours. We eventually pulled over into a gas station and bought some cheapo rain ponchos so we could keep going, but that was a mistake. We should have just stayed there. By the time we got the ponchos on we were as wet as if we'd gone swimming in our clothes.
Shopping With Reaksmey Sakha and I took her sister, "Smey" shopping. Smey is a lovely lady, very sweet and funny and one in a million. Pure of heart and beautiful enough to take your breath away. She also just doesn't want anything, she's not materialistic in the slightest. We took her out to several stores and I told her to just get whatever she wanted. You know, go nuts, get whatever you want and I'll buy it. Most women (guys too) when presented with an opportunity like this would get some things for themselves, but not Smey. She got some baby formula for her other sister's baby, some feminine products for her and her mom to share, and some other little things (shampoo, antiperspirant). I was like, no, no, something fun, just for you. How about some shoes? She looked at Sakha and then back to me. "
No...have shoes already." Well, maybe a dress or some shirts or pants or something? "
No, have dress. No need shirts. (giggle)" She looked genuinely puzzled as to why she should buy more. I was like, c'mon, get something for yourself, whatever you want. Music? A hat? A new purse? A phone? Nope, she didn't want anything for herself. She's such a sweetheart and we couldn't buy her anything.
A Quick Trip To Kompong SomWe went up to [a href="vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sihanoukville (//vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sihanoukville)"]Kompong Som[/a], swam in the ocean and ate massive amounts of freshly cooked crab. Spent the night there and then came back. The rest of the time we just spent goofing around, visiting some of Sakha's friends and relaxing.
The beautiful beach at Kompong Som
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/kompongsom2.jpg)
Check in with the local cops??I saw this in the hotel room in Kompong Som. Despite the order to report to the "Commune Police" as we came and went, we opted not to. It was kind of creepy, actually.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/policecheck.jpg)
Homeward BoundOn the way back we landed in Taipei and we went up to the Evergreen Lounge. But they claimed they were remodeling and since my EVA Air card had been downgraded to only the "Silver" card, they said they only had room for Gold card members and we couldn't come in. WTF? There was NO friggin way we were going to wait out in the &$%#@ airport for 6 hours, so I decided that I wasn't going to take "
no" for an answer. I argued politely with the lady for quite a while, then got her to get her supervisor, and I argued politely with her for a while too.
They kept saying they hoped we understood and they were sorry, and I kept saying that
no, I didn't understand and that this wasn't what we'd paid for (which is true). I just stood there while other people streamed in and out and wouldn't budge. I was polite but totally, 100% immovable. I figured I had 6 full hours to argue my way in (lol) and that sooner or later they'd give up. And they did. Not knowing how to deal with someone like me who didn't understand the word "no", they finally let us in. Yay.
I like the EVA Air Evergreen Lounge in Taipei, so let me show it to you.
EVA Air Lounge in Taipei. As you can see, it's plush and comfortable. It's also nice and quiet.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/eva_lounge1.jpg)
They have nice comfy chairs and free wifi.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/eva_lounge2.jpg)
They also have some good free food for weary travelers in the buffet area, as well as juice, milk,
Cokes, etc. This lady is one of the lounge attendants. They're very shy about being photographed.
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/eva_lounge3.jpg)
Another shot of the buffet area. But wait, what's that in the corner? Lets have a closer look at
that, shall we?
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/eva_lounge4.jpg)
OMFG, free booze!! Did I mention how much I like the EVA Air Evergreen Lounge? 
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/cambodia/eva_lounge5.jpg)
I made myself a few good strong drinks and we settled in to wait. By the time we left I didn't give a sh*t if the plane was on time or not if it even had wings, lol. The flight back was uneventful, but damn, 13 hours in the air just about wrecked me. I was never, EVER so glad to set foot on the ground.
Immigration cleared us pretty quickly, US Customs waved us through, and off we went. We got home at 8pm, went to bed at 9pm, and woke up 3 hours later at midnight ready to go. Yeah, our body clocks are whacked. The next day we went to bed at 8pm and slept until 1030 the next morning (12 hours!) and we were still tired. Ack. It'll be days before we're back to normal, lol.
So there ya go, the latest trip over and done with.
