[DIV class=RTE][FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]Top Ten Signs Santa Hates You [/FONT][/DIV][FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2] [/FONT] [FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]10. He eats the milk and cookies -- and nails your girlfriend[/FONT] [FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]9. Every naughty thing you did this year was videotaped and posted on the Internet [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT][/DIV][FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]8. On Christmas morning, your stocking stuffed with a severed leg [/FONT] [FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]7. Only "gift" you received was left by Blitzen on your living room carpet [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT][/DIV][FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]6. Instead of, "Ho, Ho, Ho," greets you with, "Nice sweater, fat ass" [/FONT] [FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]5. Leaves mysterious letter, "I know when you are sleeping, I know how to kill a man without leaving any marks" [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]4. You get no presents -- when you bump into him later, he gives you lame, "I thought you were Jewish" excuse [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]3. Brings you one copy of every Kathy Lee CD [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]2. Turns his reindeer loose on you [/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2][/FONT]
[FONT face="Lucida Handwriting, Cursive" size=2]1. Writes "Happy Holidays" in the snow on the roof [/FONT]