Appropriate definitions

Started by Gopher, Nov 30 06 11:29

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Gopher

Malady - somewhat like a duck (Mallard).  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

kitten

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

weird al

Filibuster = silicone implant

P.C.

Accordionated - Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

Beelzebug - Satan in the form of a mosquito. The one that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

Bozone - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. I actually know a few of these people.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

Hozone - A really bad part of town  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/k045.gif" border=0]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

weird al

Hornets - what denizens of the hozone wear in their hair.

  Hormones - the sounds they sometimes make.

P.C.

I think I may be breaching some posting ettiquette.  I can't help, these are fun.

    Giraffiti -  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.  
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

Ignoranus - A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.  

        (pardon my 'bilingualism....I'm just trying to do TB proud) [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/frech/d015.gif" border=0]    
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Russ

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.  2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it backdown to give the vacuum one more chance.  3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.  4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one arm rest in a movie theater.  5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room untilhe finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.  6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.  7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.  8 PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.  9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.  10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.


Mercy to the Guilty is Torture to the Victims

Gopher

Semi-colon - half a large intestine.
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Gopher

A fool's paradise is better than none.

P.C.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.


*in light of my present situation at work. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/d040.gif" border=0]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

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