Hey Greycat. This is just my impression of your posts so far in this thread. I don't mean to offend.
[hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"]It's called procrastination. You're putting things off, probably not on purpose, so that you could get other things done. In your mind, marriage and having kids wasn't that important as having a stable job first. So, you procrastinated throughout your years in life and then it's just recently that you start to really sit down and think about what you have done thus far.
I find that many people stop or don't do much because they put their age first. Why is that necessary? I hear, "oh, I'm 45, I can't lose the weight like I used to" or "Oh, I get so tired these days when I get older." The more someone tells him/herself that, the more the body and mind start to make it real. Then your heart believes it and guess what, he/she gets depressed and depression may lead to diseases. Disease is merely a dis ease. Anyways, I feel that you could really have your child and buy that house when you take the steps to get there. Take one step at a time. Sit down and do up a flow chart. When you have given your all, and nothing turns out the way you wanted it, at least you will continue living your life with no regrets.
Like SD mentioned, no more what "if's." Try now and see where it'll lead you.
I hope this makes sense and have helped you.