I recently received this from the owner of a web ring I belong to. It's not spam because it came through a somewhat restricted channel. I've read it several times and I still can't tell what the hell he wants, lol. It's apparently something to do with advertising and "assimilating", but if it takes four extremely dense paragraphs of text just to state that, count me out. I don't want to be assimilated.
He signed his email "Respectively Yours", which tells me that he doesn't know what the word means. I'm guessing he meant "respectfully yours", but who knows.
So, can anyone translate this overly-pedantic 'word salad' he sent me?
(Note that I've x'ed out some identifying items for the sake of this person's privacy.)
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[font face="arial" size="-1"]Dear valued member,
I am writing on behalf of a community of free thinkers, not too unlike yourself, who have realized that there is certain degree of freedom when considering "Power in Numbers". We have united horizontally and vertically to free the politically suppressed, in hopes that our combined efforts will change the world in multitudes of ways. Many say that two leaders will emerge; one that is true, and the other that is false. These leaders of leaders will assemble two opposing armies that will gather on a line drawn in the sands of space-time to battle, the final battle, in which there will be only one victory. Reality is what dreams are made of, and dreams become true when those involved control their fate, and the fate of others through destiny. Is it part of our destiny to be aligned in similar fashion for all to see?
I have personally had, and continue to have dealings with individuals who share your philosophies, and although we do not always agree, we most definitely all agree that an individual is entitled to believe, and/or talk about whatever he or she wants to without fear of ridicule and/or reprisal. We can, after all, politely disagree without harming one another politically, in terms of creditability, and you are no stranger to attacks of this nature. The reason I am writing you: I personally have donated, or set aside funds to invest in advertising to market a plan in hopes that we might begin the process of assimilation, with respect to our "12-Moderator Matrix" plan. We would prefer to join forces with your organization, as opposed to purchasing ad space, and that is why I am contacting you.
Consider this an opportunity to invest time soliciting us at vny!://xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, for I will not work alone in this aspect. The "12-Moderators" are the controllers who manage the "12-Moderator Matrix" in full transparency, in which I represent one of the planned 12-Moderators. This letter is the byproduct of our efforts, and we are very much interested in joining forces, and/or purchasing visibility via your organization. Bachelor of Science in Business and Management is my major, marketing and web design is my trade, and analysis is my specialty; prior to this project, I managed $95-million in engineering assets at IBM (formally known as Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.). I have every intention of mobilizing the willing, and I am a highly skilled mediator to boot.
Again, I would prefer to discuss advertising (paid, and/or traded) publicly within our science forum as opposed to communicating via e-mail, and I already provided the link. This is because I want my team involved; a team that is hand picked, highly skilled, and in control of this "12-Moderator Matrix" aspect. Your web site stated that I should contact you for advertising queries, and I expect that you will contact me, as I have contacted you. To whom it may concern, this is not an opportunity that is going to knock twice, for I do not make a habit of soliciting help via e-mail.
Respectively Yours,
XXXXX, S., aka XXXXX
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxxx
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