Brass Monkeys

[Gopher]

Can anyone think of an equivalent expression which could be used to describe very hot weather?

[kitten]

Hotter than a firecracker?

[Future Canadian]

I've always been partial to a saying I heard on Dukes of Hazzard when I was twelve, "Hotter than a three dollar pistol."  

[kitten]

I've heard the saying, "Hotter than Hades".

[Gopher]

It doesn't quite have the same ring though, does it?

[kitten]

Not really.  It's hard to top a brass monkey.

[Gopher]

Seems almost impossible, although I really should be able to think of something as at the moment I'm almost melting from the heat.

[kitten]

How hot is it?  It's comfortable here, but it is early yet.

[Gopher]

Very high eighties I think - however we've just been told that some thunderstorms are on the way and should reach us in about three hours - or less - , so maybe it will cool down a bit (although when the rain's over, no doubt the whole place will be steaming like a rain forest).

[kitten]

Think of it as your own personal sauna.  I hate saunas, by the way.  

[Gopher]

So do I.

As regards Brass Monkeys I think we'll have to wait until the members of MENSA arrive.

[kitten]

They are more likely to appear here than on the other site.  (which shall be nameless)

[Gopher]

Oh, you're no doubt referring to that site whose name dare not be spoken?

[kitten]

Yes, otherwise it attracts rude people to this site.

[Gopher]

There have been far too many of them about recently. It's very tempting to respond negatively towards them, but I feel the best policy is just to ignore them e.g. don't even bother reading any thread which they have initiated.