Last night my neighbours were playing really loud volka, around 2:00 am. It was driving me nuts, so I dragged myself out of bed, pulled on some clothes, and found my way to their apartment. I knocked on the door and a purple-haired older woman opened the door. She laughed excitedly, said something in Volvolish, and pulled me in.
Young men were performing what I'd guess was traditional Volvolish break-dancing. Attractive young women were standing in a circle around them, clapping and singing in Volvolish. The purple-haired older woman loudly made an announcement, and everybody stopped and looked at me, waiting expectantly. A fat guy with an accordion started playing a most nasty-sounding Volka number and the older women pushed me, as if to prod me to dance. They all cheered, so what the heck-a-doodle, I did some moves I learned in Western Guilao. A gorgeous young woman joined me, shaking her booty.
Suddenly, a tall anvil-jawed man shouted angrily and grabbed me by the shoulders, then shoved me, shouting in Volvolish. I said, "What the hell?" He looked at me, baffled, and said, "What, you no speak Volvolish! What you doing at Vovolish wedding dance, you mudder-bucker. Don't get sex to my fiance!" I replied, "Look, I just came to ask you to turn down the volume to your nasty ethnic music." This just infuriated him. Just then, there was a loud banging on the door. The older woman opened it, and two cops greeted her. I took this opportunity to leave, taking a second to thank the police officers.
