Sample SPAM Responses....

Started by TehBorken, Jun 14 06 06:36

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TehBorken

   I get a lot of spam, hundreds and hundreds every single day. Most of it is filtered out by a server-side spam filter called DSPAM which sticks it in a quarrantine. Every once in a while I go into the quarrantine and look to make sure there isn't any 'real' email that got caught (there almost never is). As I read through the subject lines I reply to them in my head so I don't actually have to write them back.  The SPAM subject is in bold, my 'response' is in italics.

Your E-mail Address Has Changed
Errr, then how did you email me?

Latest stuff Get the recognition you deserve
I've got all the recognition I can stand, thanks to "America's Most Wanted".

Are You a Savvy Investor?
f*ck no, I'm a hopeless moron.

Your future, ore weigher
Sorry, I spell my name "Danger!" (My apologies to the folks from Firesign Theatre)

Promise me you wont say!
Okay, I promise. (Sentence fragment, -5 points)

Your Friends Will Envy You
They already do.

Tiffany Handbags and more..!!!!
Darn, if only I carried a purse.... (Too many exclamation points, -5 points!!!!!)

Have you heard of Ephedra?
Yeah, aren't they that new punk band from Minnesota?

Doctors Use This TOO!
And I'm so happy for them. (Improper capitalization, -5 points)

Any med for your girl to be happy!
If I had a girl, she wouldn't need meds to be happy. Then again, maybe she would.

Don't tell anyone I showed you this!
Okay, I won't.

See? Dealing with SPAM Is easy!
     
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Lise

Not as creative as thou - I usually just send all the spams to hell.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

kingy

i did get one the other day offering to cure my virginity!    
...

weird al

  [SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic"]Sorry, I spell my name "Danger!" [/SPAN]

          ....no anchovies for you!