Discover Seattle!

General Category => Discover Seattle! => Topic started by: Orik on Jul 04 07 09:59

Title: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 09:59
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Lost in the shadows of my mind [/span]
 
 God no longer exists, I am soulless, heartless & remorseless
 It matters not, to you. Yet I belive, but that belief is dieng
   I go to bed to dream of death and destruction.  
   To dream of slaughter & mayhem.  
   To slew & to slay, to be haunted by nightmares, to know despair.  
   Grim is the grave, hollow is my heart.  
   Terror is just a eyelids closing away.  
   Look to my dreams, you will see, the terrors that haunt me, still to this day.  
   If only you could see what my twisted dreams hold
   You to would know the fear of the grave.
   A silent night of freedom.
  Hope springs eternal.
   To never dream again.
  My hope is faded and waning.
   Why does one dream
  What is its purpose
 D.S.P
 
 

 [span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]
[/span]
Title: Forgotten in the sands of time
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 09:59
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Forgotten in the sands of time[/span]
 
 The shadows are like a mist it comes and goes.
 I  wander this world looking for a intimate connection, that just never seems to  arrive.
 My dreams are haunted by a vision of beauty, I have met and yet never  met.
 I am at a loss to say what is there, it just is.
 Love I seek yet most just  smile and move on.
 I am a unlovable fellow, uncouth and belligerent, moody and  diseased.
 Blessed with a body the size of a small bear and a face of a Goat.  
 Ugly, I have been called. Obese and a freak am I, or so I have been told.
 My  dreams are real: Yet the woman for me, I just can not seem to find.
 I walk along  unnoticed, unseen, forgotten long before I am even gone.
 I look, yet I do not  see, I seek and have lost all I hold dear.
 love is the embers and ashes in my  heart, waiting to be fanned in to flame.
    To that elusive lover. I have yet to discover. I see and hear. Yet deaf and blind am I.
 D.S.P
 
Title: Fear the Reaper
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:01
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Fear the Reaper[/span]

Laughing mirthlessly as he was cast out from hell
He lives, he lives, beware! Shake and quake dear reader
Fear the rising of the Reaper, the un-dead have arrived
Fear for your life and the lives of the ones you hold dear
Run and flee for your very lives from the demon
Even hell is to feared to keep

It is back with a plan of destruction bordering on hate.
Fear that terror we've caused and have a waked.
Beware for the Dark Reaper draws nigh

The Reaper has come. It is time for the innocent to run
In a sulphurous, odoriferous, cloud of smoke
A sound as loud as thunder, echoes like a gunshot across the land

The torn veil upon this world is ripped asunder
What is that putrid stench, like something dead
Is it something diseased or rotten with gangrene?

Damn what is that smell, What the hell was that sound?
Beware dear reader. Beware! for it is the rising of the Reaper.
In a clangorous cloud of smoke the sound as loud as thunder.
It dost appear it's malevolent eyes stare back at me.
Flee! Run for your very life. I seem to have fallen.
Worry not about me dear reader, it is much to...  
Title: leather and lace
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:02
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]leather and lace[/span]

all that leather and lace
woman you make me such a disgrace
how will i ever show my face
i just can not keep up this pace

the love in my heart burns
i can not say the words
my tongue gets all twisted
my heart starts to race
for you the woman i yearn

you the love of my life
all the world i live in
i hate to do such wrong
but i live and yearn
never do i seem to learn

by this shattered redeeming grace
how benevolent how asinine
i lost you to time
careless and thoughtless
i let you pass me bye

to afraid to show my disgrace
to scared to reveal the deeply scarred heart
to stand up and be a man,
sadly not this time, cue the band
walks away his head hung in shame
a man no more

 
Title: Ode to a hamburger
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:04
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Ode to a hamburger[/span]
[img style="width: 173px; height: 130px;" src="http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/images/articles/20060924-Worlds_Largest_Hamburger_4.jpg"]

Oh sweet sweet relish
my mustard how i adore thee
the pickles and ketchup
lettuce not forget them lovely
sweet red and vine ripe plums
tomatoes i love the most of all
but my burger my love
you are not complete
until you are loaded with
lots and lots of meat..
alas my love you do me harm
clogged arteries
raised cholesterol
blood pressure is rising
beware the hamburger
beware..

   
Title: Lacking
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:05
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Lacking[/span]

A lady i do lack
I have looked High
I have looked low
Under the rock
down by the bay
High on the cliff
over looking the sea
now i take stock
i lay me back down

where oh where may she be
that lady who's haunting me

I checked the park
on the street after dark
I walk out for a lark
I doff my hat as I pass you bye
Did you notice me

where oh where may she be
again not here that i can see
where is that lady who is haunting me

i hear the birdies and see the bees
but the heart is sadly aflutter
waiting for my lady to come bye
oh look how beautiful is that butterfly

two strangers in passing
is that you ? am i what you seek

take a chance on me
let me take a chance on you
if we never speak
how will we ever meet.

where oh where may she be
again not here that i can see
where is that lady who is haunting me

time is past i sigh
i lay me down and close the eyes
a chance to sleep
perchance to dream
of you my lady fair
tonight you are here beside me
if only in my dreams
   
Title: Time passes
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:07
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Time passes[/span]

sadly i find time is fleeting
i find myself effervescent and waining..
i am all dogged and dreamy..
it is that time and i am sad to say...
(though some cheers may resound)

that it is time for me to leave..
a time to sleep so i bid you all
a  good and pleasant evening
sleep tight

may none of Vancouver's plague of bed bugs bite..

sleep sound, dream well, laugh once or twice...
i bid you all one last and final good night...
blessings from the powers that be to one and all...
time for a slow decent into the darkness of fall

songs of the undertaker to guide my way
to that lone and silent grave
it is a short path to death...
i shall see you tomorrow
granted that i wake
though my dreams be dark fetid or foul ...

i sense tonight they be sweet and silent...
but it is past time for me to catch the train
to rinse my face in the wash basin.

to lay my head upon a pillow
to slip slowly into the abyss
into the chasm of them mind...
seek one never knows what they may find.
the dreams of the dreamer...
sleep well and wake...  
Title: Salad and Steak
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:09
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Salad and Steak[/span]

company for a lovely late lunch
was beautiful and sublime
her words surreal and ideal...

the meal was grand... thought they may have mixed the plates...
the view was perfect. a lovely lady in my eyes.
soft yet elegant independent and strong.
softly lit from behind
a view of the mountains.. the trees.. the sea...
the salad was nice (a raspberry vinaigrette would hide the bitter after taste of the dandelion)

dark and twisted... no not her nor i
real and aloof, yet some very deep roots
feet on the ground. a head in the sky
she made me feel a tad pretentious
down to earth, laughter and fear (i saw it in your eyes)
the laughter was light
sighs a devils calling

oh yes this was most fun ..
the pain the intestacy (lol)...
a couple of beers
red dwarf and lister ... lol..

poor tourists listening in..

not knowing what to make
of  those two half  baked
slightly insane Vancouverites..
no blue berry pie but cheese cake galore...
sadly not this time ...to much to do..
next it will be on you ...

meeting new people is a fun and grand thing to do
the intimate setting is ideal... confidence and trust... a bargain made a deal is struck...

we will meet once again... given a little luck....

to all those who failed to diagnose the clues ...
 lol ! boo's to you...
to the one who did... aren't you glad we hid...
tucked in a corner not far from sight ...
near to prying ears... yet far enough away ...
we could sleep on a grave... (oh what those poor tourists must have heard)
silent nay not i... nor you... you are one interesting angel of death...
with out further adieu i say
my honour it was to meet you
death was a pleasure....
peace be unto you...  
Title: silence
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:11
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]silence[/span]
the nightmares the screams...
you will never know
the things i have done.
or the demons i hold...
is their hope for redemption....

to be redeemed redeeming
freed by confession
turmoil repentance
facileness  
Title: Silence more Silence
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:13
Silence

[img style="width: 273px; height: 203px;" src="http://fatman.lightstar1.com/downloads/Silence.jpg"]


Silence

my life and my tears
i never could pass that final test
 
what do i lack
integrity

what do i have
deception
misrepresentation
lies

who was i
no one
 
not enough
to much
to little
 
maybe on some other plain of existence
 
will i find
the elusive dream
to know
love

freedom from
a shattered heart
torn & destroyed
falling apart
 

single

silent

alone

always
 [img style="width: 321px; height: 212px;" src="http://www.borut.com/borut/gallery/silence.gif"]
Title: Do you believe
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:14
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Do you believe[/span]

Do you believe in heaven and hell.
What does death hold.
Is it naught but a tombstone and worms

as your flesh slowly rots in the grave
the maggots devour your flesh
as seasons change as time passes
all are left in one constant state slowly dieing
if you are lucky friends remember and are crying

so what is the mystery of the grave
does the soul live on
are we doomed to live this fleshly life and know no more
damned to decompose in everlasting repose
or will we wake in heaven at a gigantic clam bake

will we be born again
until we get it right
or am i just to uptight

just what is in the mystery of the grave
one needs to die to learn the answer
yet one wishes never to find out

if you were immortal
how long would you last
before you went insane
as your friends and family die and pass on
you are left standing alone

on a hill overlooking the sea
spread my ashes and let me be
one day i will know the answer
to that mystery of the grave

i just hope it will not be today...

 
Title: Tombstones
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:20
 [span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Tombstones[/span]

a time to die...
death is a illusion
a dream is the only heaven
 breath the only hell
darkness everlasting abounds
welcomed and unsound
sleep to rest is desired or hated
sorrow knows no bounds with held
unknown soon to be forgotten
tombstones
(http://i10.tinypic.com/4qhm5tt.jpg)
ever lasting rest
final designation
death    
Title: Escape For Freedom
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:21
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Escape For Freedom[/span]

Here i sit
all tired and sore
my life my battles
the tally is counted
one two three four
heaven knows how many more
the battle ground is all scared and a mess
the pain the sorrow
this morass the broken bodies
the red the dark chartreuse bone marow
bloody remains all over the place
another day another dollar
working defenseless
tax man tax man
the slave is i but they know best
starvation wages so little left
it is my turn to be bereft
what does tomorrow hold
more more of the same
so very tired
my dreams my dreams
are empty and hollow
i want to die
i want to escape
heaven knows
maybe tomorrow...  
Title: "sleep well and wake"
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:22
[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]"sleep well and wake"[/span]

so very tired.
why suicide why .
the race lost.
time to sleep will one awake .
untill tomorrow, if tommorrow comes.
we will speak some more if i wake
we will talk if i wake
if i do not awake
i'll see what thier's to see
or not to see
untill i awake
i shall dream a dream of
sleep death & rebirth
will you wake
will i wake
untill i do
Death.  
Title: Hole sweet hole
Post by: Orik on Jul 04 07 10:39
 Face buried in the pillow
 tears stream slowly off the chin
 one by one they fall
 misery, depression, sadness on end.
 grief just wont let me be
 
 I fall, I fail, I flail, trying to keep my head
 I feel often, I would be better off dead.
 Yet the fear of the grave of a paupers funeral leaves me be
 I draw a breath one two three
 
 someone is knocking at the door
 ignored and unanswered
 I leave it alone as always
 Last week It was some crack head
 offering me money to let him in
 f*ck off go away my answer to him
 sighs gotta love my hood
 
 wandering down this filthy hallway
 vomit stains on the walls
 cigarette burns on the floor  
 The smell of piss in the stairs
 the ammonia in the hall
 Damn look at that some guy
 wrote with his shit
 all over the elevator walls.
 
 gotta love this ghetto right
 some hooker shooting up outside my door
 sighs. yeah gotta love the ghetto right out side my door.
 
 just last week my house was allover the news
 some poor woman beaten almost to death
 some guy from the second floor
 accused and arrested for this heinous crime
 that is if he really is guilty
 and the cops aren't just making a easy case
 the guys a little dim, a bit slow
 if you know what I mean.
 yeah I love this ghetto
 
 for this they charge me 690 a month
 gotta love my full 420 square feet
 1 bedroom one bathroom one kitchen
 oh yes don't forget that concrete balcony
 3 feet wide by 4 feet long
 sighs for this I work 9 hrs a day
 and pay my taxes and i wonder Olympics yeah right
 what a waste what is it 400 million spent on a highway
 but new government job club's not one do I see
 education job training social housing f*ck me
 where is it? yeah way to go
 yeah I love my country
 just not today
 
 anyone else just want to step out and away
 to enter a monks cloister
 for a month maybe three
 perhaps all eternity
 I gotta get away, I gotta escape
 sighs if only I could actually afford the price
 to escape to leave to get away
 for a day or even three
 I need to escape this insanity
 
 it is ever so tempting to place pepper on my shoulder
 harness in hand and just walk away leave it all behind
 anyone want a computer and a tv that has great sound
 the picture just no longer works.
 
 I am tired
 I am depressed
 I hate me today
 I hate my hood even more
 today I saw a girl not yet 16
 smoking crack and pulling dates
 what a great ghetto
 
 gotta love this town
 Vancouver's East-side
 what a place  
 I just want to f*cking scream.
 shit what a mess
 
 peace to all I've said my bit
 love em or hate em they are people too.
 poor things to think I used to use too.
 Aug. will be 14 years crack cocaine free
 
 no, no cake for me
 I don't celebrate that way.
 I only need to look around
 to remind me why I stay clean
 every day, same after same
 
 Man I need a raise a buck and a quarter
 will just cover the notice I got
 my rent is going up again
 sighs gotta love the ghetto
 
 gotta love the hood
 my sweet, disgusting, filthy
 shitty, stinky, hole
 my home sweet home.
 
 Anyone else want to go sailing
 Ah, I can see it now
 the wide open sea before me
 the cesspool of Vancouver far behind
 
 I think I would be tempted
 to just keep going, to never look back
 no more shitty, just to keep going
 Till I reached some far foreign shore
 
 Alas I lack the means
 No boat, No passport, No money to spare.
 sighs but I can still have my day dreams.
 For now those are still free.
 
 [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][img]http://www.discoveralltheworld.com/forum/icon_smile_big.gif" alt="" title="" align="middle" border="0" height="15" width="15"]
 donations to the escape from Vancouver fund... can be sent to...  

or you can write to me

Orik_Basher(AT)shaw(DOT)ca[/span][/font]  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 05 07 06:43
 Okay this thread is unlocked, you may post your comments
be kind, try not to swear. Though at times it is needed, constructive criticism is welcome.
Out right criticism, I can do with out, please keep that to yourself.
Please no hate I just don't need any more of that, not today.
thanks
orik



   
Title: Final soloution
Post by: Orik on Jul 06 07 11:20
 

Final Destination
Final designation
Death
worm food
the big sleep
ever lasting rest
dreams and reality colide
innocence lost
despised
hated
chained
freedom
slavery
tears


   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: GORDY GAMBINO on Jul 07 07 01:24
Just to let you know that after 2 days and even unlocking the thread no one gives a shit!

  Sorry but that's how it is!! ha ha
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: onlooker on Jul 07 07 02:12
from the gravestone, it brings up an interesting paradox, does it represent Orik, or an Orik Basher, or is Orik the Orik basher, or is it a metaphor for self destructive behaviour patterns, or ???
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 07 07 07:30
from the gravestone, it brings up an interesting paradox, does it represent Orik, or an Orik Basher, or is Orik the Orik basher, or is it a metaphor for self destructive (sic) behaviour patterns, or ???

Representative of all that I hate and a aspect of me. It is all the parts I despise and more.
In a way it is me or parts of me. Parts of you and parts of them. Orik Basher is me and I don't want to survive the day, so I go to take some risks. Lets see if I can survive the mundane, the insane, the idiotic and the asinine one more time.


 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 07 07 09:21
Lets see if I can survive the mundane, the insane, the idiotic and the asinine one more time.

  Hey Orik.....if instead of just trying to survive the mundane....etc, I wonder if you might help yourself to see a less morbid side of life if you tried to change or help the mundane idiocies.  Writing about the ugliness won't change the ugliness.  You might very well start seeing the good if you looked for it.  Have you tried volunteer work ?  There are people with so much less and little or nothing to be thankful for that see the world with kinder, more hopeful eyes.  

  It seems that you spend too much time standing in 'shadows of your mind' instead of trying to move out of the shadows.  There's a lot going on in between birth and death....and just waiting for the inevitable seems like such a waste of life.  Just a thought.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: weird al on Jul 07 07 09:28
Nicely said, peace.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: onlooker on Jul 08 07 03:37
there, I am disturbed now
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Lise on Jul 08 07 07:05
Dude. Methinks you should go and get help. Seriously. Life's not worth being this way. Find whatever happiness in life and lock on to it.

  [FONT color=#ffcc80][FONT face=Arial]Haiku for Inner Peace

[FONT color=#111111 size=3]Peaceful bliss begins,[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT color=#111111][FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]a delicate downy wisp,[/FONT]
[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]a fluttering hope.[/FONT]

[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]The stillness of joy[/FONT]
[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]starts deep within the Spirit,[/FONT]
[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]eager to expand.[/FONT]

[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]Allowing sorrows[/FONT]
[FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif size=3]to soften into balance,[/FONT]
[/FONT] [TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0 VSPACE="0" HSPACE="0"] [TBODY] [TR] [TD height=3][FONT color=#111111][/FONT][/TD][/TR] [TR] [TD align=left][FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif color=#111111 size=3]deepening the soul.[/FONT][/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]
 [TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0 VSPACE="0" HSPACE="0"] [TBODY] [TR] [TD height=3][FONT color=#111111][/FONT][/TD][/TR] [TR] [TD align=left][FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif color=#111111 size=3]~Flame RavenHawk[/FONT][/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE] [TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0 VSPACE="0" HSPACE="0"] [TBODY] [TR] [TD height=3][FONT color=#111111][/FONT][/TD][/TR] [TR] [TD align=left][FONT face=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif color=#111111 size=3]March 8, 2003[/FONT][/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]
Title: Sweet Angel
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 01:26
 Sweet angel of mercy
 arms warmly wrapped about me
 Thy feted breath heavy upon my back
 Angel of death I feel thee
 
 Death is around the corner
 no man knows his exact time
 to the hour, some just know
 when their time is nearly done.
 
 what no others choose not to see, I see
 what you choose not to feel, I feel
 I write it and post it here
 
 Tell me what it is you fear.
 is it spiders or heights
 is it the things that go bump in the night
 
 My fear is ever changing
 never ending and always the same
 Death, but i write my fears
 and share them here.
 
 Misery and death
 it is all around
 sadly to preoccupied
 fighting for the dollar
 mankind fails to see his final hours
 
 Slaves to the clock
 barter is long past and gone
 monetary whores are we
 
 disjointed and rambling you say
 just words they make no sense
 I take a authors freedom to license
 
 I just write how I feel
 I am sorry if that disturbs you
 but this is a aspect of me
 morbid curiosity
 the macabre feeds my dreams
 
 Looking for love
 or looking for a hug
 it is all the same to me
 one or the other
 
 in the world this planet
 it is only brother hating brother
 sister hating sister. family's divorce
 marriage has gone to the dogs.
 
 sighs, so many troubles in this world
 but what do I do
 I sit and write
and scream, My frustration out
better out than trapped festering deep within.
 
 sorry if I disturb you
 I never meant to scare you
 But these scars of mine they make me blind
 oh lady justice how do you see.
 blinded by all mans spilled blood
 how many more must die
 for games that are played.
 
 sighs so many things to say and my words are locked and blocked
 by some thing within. perhaps it is some long forgotten sin
 but sins are made by man, to damn
 yet the rules of god are simple and few
 how many of Gods commandments, do you follow still.
   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 01:28
Sorry folks but i just write words that come unbidden to mind
 i don't take time to think, things through, I just post and paste them here as they come to me.
 as for help I need none. as for volunteering, i used to for many long years.
 my time is now my own and claim it as so.
 but work the downtown east side and live here with me
 24 hrs a day times 10 years
 you see things, that get you down, from time to time.
 
 I need a retreat a place to escape to and for me my poetic free styling, is what gives me the most amount of release, i can get, again i am truly, sorry that i disturbed you.
 i will just continue to write and cease sharing them with you lot then.

and lise this is a form of my happiness, i love to write, i may not be very good at this form of prattle. but it does bring me joy.

 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 01:44


The tombstone is representative of that which I hate and a aspect of me.
It is all the parts I despise and more. hence the fitting image of a tombstone is it not best to kill the parts of you that you hate and to rebuild and be reborn anew ?

In a way it is me or parts of me. Parts of you and parts of them.
 
 Orik Basher is me and I don't want to survive the day, so I go to take some risks. Lets see if I can survive the mundane, the insane, the idiotic and the asinine one more time.

 
 Can I ask you what risks did you take this day Lise PC and any others who wish to respond what did u take for risks this week? .

 I stepped out of my self and spoke with a young heroine addict for about a half hour, she has been using since she was 20. she was clean for a few months and has been back to using for 5 weeks now and is  back on the streets. she is only 24 y/o. has 2 children and lost them both to the ministry.
 
 my risks differ ever day, sometimes they are dangerous... have u ever tried to cross Powell street during the height of rush hr traffic at a none pedestrian controlled light. whew that in its self is pretty damn scary.
 or how about removing a assaultive trespasser swinging a loaded syringe around, i had to do that once. or been in a fight with 3 to one odds i got jumped by 3 of the local dealers, one with a club, one with a knife. let me tell you i was scared and fought for my life. and just last month a woman was beaten near to death behind my work site and near my home.
 
 so you tell me lise PC and others, just what am i supposed to do but fight to survive ?
should I let them stick that blade in me or club my brains out like some baby seal on the ice...
 trust me life in the hood aint always easy and it certainly aint sane... but i do it day after day
 can you blame me if i get a bit depressed and a tad morbid and morose...


   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: wyk on Jul 09 07 04:03
Well said Orik. (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Word_Positive/6.gif)  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 06:55
It wasn't a criticism.....just a general observation.  I'm also not suggesting that you shouldn't feel for the ugliness or sadness. Just tossing it out there....wondering how healthy it is to make it the major focus of your life.  To me it's like only allowing yourself to see blue....as opposed to seeing the whole.  With all the colours of the spectrum, focusing only on the blue would seem to be like disregarding a bigger, fuller, more rewarding picture.    
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: PostMonkee @(^_^)@ on Jul 09 07 10:39
Balance doesn't make for good art.

If we didn't have tortured artists think of all we would lose.

Their pain brings us pleasure, and so they are a critical piece of the circle of life.

Orik is a masochist certainly, but imagine how bad his poetry would be if he tried to look on the bright side of life.  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 11:08
 Balance doesn't make for good art.

If we didn't have tortured artists think of all we would lose.

Their pain brings us pleasure, and so they are a critical piece of the circle of life.

Orik is a masochist certainly, but imagine how bad his poetry would be if he tried to look on the bright side of life.

   I guess I didn't say what I was trying to say, very well.  My comments were less about Orik's poetry than they were for concern for my fellow man.  [/DIV]
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: PostMonkee @(^_^)@ on Jul 09 07 12:06
That's very kind, P.C.

I'm more concerned with the quality of art.

If a few human beings have to suffer and die to bring us entertainment then so much the better.

Their sacrifice will season the stew. It's natural to want to watch other people suffer.

Just look at the enormous success of Jerry Springer and shows like Cheaters.

Of course, the fans are never willing to pony up and just admit that they like to feed their sadistic side.

We are semi-evolved simians. Some of us aren't even semi-evolved   =)
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 12:50
 Lol, I am not suffering thank you, though my pieces of art as you call it may seem that way.
Masochist, me. yeah I will grasnt you that. i do have a penchent to enjoy my own suffering.
I just can't stand to see others suffer. it hurts me, to see others in pain. though my own pain brings me pleasure. how very odd, perhaps? but it does make for some thought provocative wittings.

 my poetry or whatever you want to call it, is definitely not for all, very few people actually understand what i am saying. many miss the point. I am glad you find them enjoyable even if it is from a sadists view point...  but i look at it this way, if i awaken just one man or woman, to the world around them and they step out of their comfort zone. Then they make just one small change, that benefits our fellow man. I will have made a difference and be happier for making that small difference...

Now Pc. as for me writing about good things like kittens or sunsets. I would not know where to begin. look at my ode to a hamburger! even that one has a touch of the morbid or macabre to it...

a orik original just would not be a orik original with out my dark oppressive view point...

but for you, Pc. I will make some time each day, to find something good. I shall then attempt to create a poem commemorating the glory and the beauty in mankind... even if i find a hard time seeing anything good... i am to used to seeing the black evil shadows men use to abuse and hide with.

(to WYK thank you for your kind words)




   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 01:31
Now Pc. as for me writing about good things like kittens or sunsets. I would not know where to begin. look at my ode to a hamburger! even that one has a touch of the morbid or macabre to it...

  I think you have misunderstood me also.  I wouldn't dream for a second on telling you what you should write.  Forums, posts and poetry aside....I was merely looking for suggestions for you personally to find a less gloomy side of life.  I've seen and experienced a few hard slaps along the way, but could no sooner see myself settling in for misery as a way of life than flying.....although flying would be nice.




[FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffff80"]but for you, Pc[/FONT][FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffff80"]. I will make some time each day, to find something good.[/FONT] I shall then attempt to create a poem commemorating the glory and the beauty in mankind... even if i find a hard time seeing anything good... i am to used to seeing the black evil shadows men use to abuse and hide with.



 I would rather see that read [FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffff80"]'but for me, Orik, I will make some time each day, to find something good'.[/FONT]
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 06:21
Lol either way you write it PC, I will still take time out to smell the roses and enjoy the beauty that is supposedly around me... perhaps i can borrow your rose coloured glasses PC, so i can view the world around me all the better...

 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 06:39
Hey....I resemble that remark.(http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif)

  Just think of it this way.  If you had a broken leg, you would welcome the relief of healing over the option of breaking it every 2 months....just so you could stay broken.

  Trust me....it's out there.....you're just too stuck to recognize it.

  I think you can't really appreciate goodness if you haven't experienced 'badness'......or if you can't feel deep sadness, you can't feel real joy.......but if you're only seeing one side of life, you're shorting yourself.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 07:02
I hear you on that PC. but Orik wouldn't be Orik if he was like that. my poetry in no way reflects my reality. it only reflects the depravity of a unsound mind (http:///forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/12.gif)
and for anyone who actually thinks i am crazy enough to kill myself...
sighs i can not say it any plainer that this

Disclaimer for those of u who think my poetry, in anyway represents a desire or thoughts about suicide. Let me place your minds at ease. I have no intention of committing suicide. Now or in the future. The acts of death contained within my poetry are written in the metaphorical, they don't represent life or any real aspect of my life ... the death's writen about are just parts of the spirit, or the soul. it doesn't reflect or represent my actual  body in anyway shape or form...

now go out and enjoy the rain or the sunshine...


 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 07:08
I can enjoy either.  I like pink rain.  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c007.gif" border=0]
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sportsdude on Jul 09 07 07:19
pink rain? hmmmm  
Title: Pink Rain
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 07:27
 Hear am I as I lie below the mighty sky
what do i see pink rain drops falling down on me
what is this i said, how odd and strange
i can not remember ever having seen pink rain
I look higher up and past the clouds what do I see
God almighty eating strawberry ice cream

   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 09 07 07:38
Yeayyyyyyyy.....lol

  (http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/80/88/22668880.jpg)
Title: Dead Woman by Pablo Neruda
Post by: Orik on Jul 09 07 09:29
 Dead Woman by Pablo Neruda
 
 If suddenly you do not exist,
 if suddenly you no longer live,
 I shall live on.
 
 I do not dare,
 I do not dare to write it,
 if you die.
 
 I shall live on.
 
 For where a man has no voice,
 there shall be my voice.
 
 Where blacks are flogged and beaten,
 I cannot be dead.
 When my brothers go to prison
 I shall go with them.
 
 When victory,
 not my victory,
 but the great victory
 comes,
 even if I am dumb I must speak;
 I shall see it coming even if I am blind.
 
 No, forgive me.
 If you no longer live,
 if you, beloved, my love,
 if you
 have died,
 all the leaves will fall on my breast,
 it will rain on my soul night and day,
 the snow will burn my heart,
 I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
 my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping,
 but
 I shall stay alive,
 because above all things you wanted me
 indomitable,
 and, my love, because you know that I am not only a man
 but all mankind  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: onlooker on Jul 10 07 11:37
this thread could use a pic of pepper
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 10 07 01:46
(http://www.tjphotography.co.uk/gallery/Food%20And%20Drink/slides/Red%20Pepper.jpg).
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 10 07 05:13
I dont think that is the pepper they had in mind, PC.

I think this is who they wanted pictures of.Pepper, not pepper's


(http://i7.tinypic.com/4ujsbh0.jpg)
 
Title: Reposted here with the Authors permission.
Post by: Orik on Jul 10 07 05:16
Reposted here with the Authors permission.


 I am here broken, sad and confused.
Can you understand why I'm feeling  used?
No reason. No promise. Just a reference to fall.
Have you  considered my feelings at all?

Perhaps I am the one being strung along.  
It'll be seven and a half years before I know if I can move on.
Maybe I  deserve this, for what you think I did to you.
Please know that I LOVE you.  Believe it it's true.

It seems your in danger.Maybe owned by someone  else.
I saw what I saw... I wish I could help.
You know my number. I  gave you the clues.
Maybe you could call me and give me some news.  

If this is pay back, I'm screaming uncle.
I'm barely surviving alone  in this jungle.
Seven years ago I was here - knowing nothing at all.  
Worried sick. Love sick. Waiting for leaves to fall.

Title: Unknown
 Author: McMatt



 
Title: God called.
Post by: Orik on Jul 12 07 05:36
 PC forgive me, I have tried to see the good. but I just can't do it this week. all is gone

Forgive me, if I sound mad and disturbed
Forgive me, if I am off put and seem perturbed
Forgive me, if I seem lost and hollow
I am mad and sad this day

I got some bad news.
A valiant battle has come to a end.
Tomorrow I go to say goodbye
to Stuart, a brother, a mentor
a philosopher and a friend

He was a man of Integrity
He was Helpful
He was Vigilant

he trained me in my duties
he was a man I saw seldom
He was a man, I looked up to.

Stuart your gone, before your time
Stuart I barely knew you, but I remember you.
thank you for the philosophic chats we had

no man knows when his time has come
today I was floored, hit by a ton of bricks.
reading the paper and finding out like this.

I come to attention I lift my hand in salute.
lower the flag, a good man had died.
tomorrow I go to see him laid to rest
a strong willed, & good hearted man
who always gave, his best.

Never again will I hear you philosophize over a cup off coffee
I just want you all to know, this man.
I have much respect for him.

He lived outside the box and off the beaten track
He took risks, He had strength, morals, wisdom and grace.
Stuart I hardly knew you.  
I'll be damned, before I ever forget you.

Rest In Peace

Written for Stuart Manning a fellow work mate.

JMAD

If you see anyone driving you think might be inebriated call 911 and report it
perhaps you will save a life.















   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: P.C. on Jul 12 07 06:31
Sorry Orik.

  You don't owe me any kind of apology.  But whether you noticed or not.....this man clearly brought you great happiness.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: wyk on Jul 13 07 01:38
Pepper!!!!!!!!

  P.S. When she has her front legs together it looks like a black diamond there!  Cool.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Jul 15 07 12:53
I know WYK. I Know she is my baby after all. When they are apart it looks like a broken heart.

 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: wyk on Jul 15 07 02:08
Orik wrote:
I know WYK. I Know she is my baby after all. When they are apart it looks like a broken heart.
 
 Awww, that's so sweet.  *hugs* for the both of you!
Title: Precipice
Post by: Orik on Jul 27 07 05:17
Standing on the edge of the world
high atop this ledge looking down
what do I see. Far out before me.
A world of sand, surf and sea.

Questions of things eternal and important to me

My Flower, My Queen, Mahal Ko
My love. My blood and tears
pondering all things I hold dear.

Thousands of miles apart.
staring across that dark stormy sea.
today, tranquil and calm
My lady, do you look at that ocean and wonder
as I look out and down at that sea, I wonder

I think of you and wonder what the future holds
is our destiny to ever be. will we meet
Do you ever wonder about that man
your prince charming.
As I sit and wonder about a princess.

I wonder what do you look like.
what are your fears
what are your dreams.
Fairy tails have happy endings.

Mahal Ko my love where in the world are you
Am I the man you seek.
I wonder what are you thinking

Are you the woman for me.
Destiny such a strong word.
Dreams are all I have. A simple dream in my mind
Thoughts of a ever so large a world
My heart is barren and empty.

My love where on this earth can you be.
Am I the man you seek
are you that woman I see
walking along the beach towards me.

Somewhere out there is the woman for me.
Dreams Wishes and Destiny
Family.









 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ric Mongler on Jul 27 07 05:42
It was a lovely thing you wrote. Very romantic. I hope you find her because you deserve a princess.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Lazy Orik on Jul 28 07 07:05
Thank u ric  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Oak on Jul 29 07 09:36
If I have not devoted to anyone yet and if I know you in person, I would likely fall in love with you.  Hopefully you find that woman.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ace on Jul 29 07 01:10
Well, they say there's someone out there for everyone...  That's not always the case, as some people seem to be destined to grow old alone...  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Oak on Jul 29 07 04:22
I am sure Orik can find himself someone.  There aren't that many guys out there who write poems and dare sharing them.
Title: Re: Reposted here with the Authors permission.
Post by: DV h8r on Jul 30 07 11:38
 Orik wrote:
Reposted here with the Authors permission.


 I am here broken, sad and confused.
Can you understand why I'm feeling  used?
No reason. No promise. Just a reference to fall.
Have you  considered my feelings at all?

Perhaps I am the one being strung along.  
It'll be seven and a half years before I know if I can move on.
Maybe I  deserve this, for what you think I did to you.
Please know that I LOVE you.  Believe it it's true.

It seems your in danger.Maybe owned by someone  else.
I saw what I saw... I wish I could help.
You know my number. I  gave you the clues.
Maybe you could call me and give me some news.  

If this is pay back, I'm screaming uncle.
I'm barely surviving alone  in this jungle.
Seven years ago I was here - knowing nothing at all.  
Worried sick. Love sick. Waiting for leaves to fall.

Title: Unknown
 Author: McMatt

Hey Orik

STFU

 
 
Title: Hope
Post by: Orik on Jul 30 07 11:57
Oxygen and Life

Traversing the great heavens
flying through the air
screaming as I flail and fall
oh what a bloody nightmare

ever lasting fall darkness settles in
I lay hear breathing shallow and ragged
gasping breaths of fetid and foul air

I place my head in the vice, clamp it on tight
This machine gives me breath
with out my oxygen I shall die
I hate this machine yet it gives me life.


Hope

with out water i shall die
with out food i shall die
with out hope i shall die
with out love i am dead inside

death comes for us all
true immortality comes from family
those that carry on the dna
bloodline is a hope for the future.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Jul 31 07 01:31
Orik, I wonder if you have ever shown her any of your poems.  You have much courage sharing them with us.  Maybe you would show her some of your poems someday?  
You have used pictures to accompany a number of your poems, and I do appreicate them.  But sometimes I wonder, instead of written words, how would your poems be expressed through absolute music or paintings.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Aug 04 07 06:08
Sycamore I have shown my poems to few people. only those who read my myspace and this page here, get to see some of what i write. and to put them to music all i can say is wow. :) and as for painting I use words to paint a picture. my artistic abilities when it comes to drawing do not exist but  i can draw a picture with words. for those who have a imagination.

Oak wrote

Orik, I have seen a very similar writing style like yours and I know the person.  I doubt you and the person I know are the same person because he has told me that he doesn't chat here, but the more I read your poems, the more you and he sound alike.

I write

I post here and on myspace. you can also find me on DATW I prolly am not the person u think. but if i am :) reaching me is easy. just login to ds and send me a im with ur email :)

Sycamore wrote

Orik, well, I have been talking to you tentatively.  I spent too much time trying to be as certain as I can be that you are who I think you are, but it's too confusing especially over at DV.  As for the last comment on your poems, I meant to say they seemed to me as abstract as pure music or artworks.  Your poems inspired me although I have seen adaptations on certain lines.

There are some other interesting posts and nice people on DS, but it's time for me to go.  Have fun on both DV and DS.  If we have not run into each other again online, we wouldn't find each other again anyway, at least I was in the process to.  Take care!

I Write

DV LOL i am banned whenever the mods figure out, whatever new handle i am using Reaper soon bit the dust. and a half dozen others. And god forbid i use my own Orik handle cause thats instantly banned and deleted... unless of course its a mod or a mod friend doing the handlejacking. then its ignored and left alone.

I write to escape and to ease my troubled and frantic mind. I wirte to share the agony and pain I wirte to paint a picture to make you feel what i feel to make you see what i see to have you hear and smell what i hear and smell. i write with emotion...


and i think with a education i could prolly be even better at it... but then i would lose that raw amature frenzy that comes from  inspiration of the soul... my poetry is almost never edited beyond a few minor changes... i learned to not rewrite what comes... the muse is the muse and should never be messed with. ...

the thing i hate most is writers block.



   
Title: I Hope I Wish I Pray
Post by: Orik on Aug 04 07 06:14
Current mood: Pasenya                                                                                                                                                                                                        
 
 I fear, for my future,
 for the divine
 many a lady is sublime
 as my heart pounds
 this ache runs deep
 
 these wounds of the flesh they fester
 my scaring runs deep
 words said, can not be undone
 actions taken, can not be undone
 
 I repent for my actions and thoughts
 repentance and prayer is a redeeming grace
 Saviour for this flesh
 renewed in spirit, soul and mind
 washed and cleansed, making amends
 this flesh, the body, slowly mends
 
 to you, I have hurt
 through anger or hate
 to you, I have wounded
 through my loneliness
 this loss of integrity
 
 so much to be ashamed of
 so much to be sorry for
 actions taken can not be changed
 I am just a man weak to this flesh.
 the lustful, thinking, the desirous sin
 
 I can only repent and change my ways
 a player of a man. Now seeks just one
 one heart, one soul, one mind
 but how and who do I choose
 
 a woman of like, a woman of taste
 filled with a redeeming grace.
 to drag me asunder
 out from under, this rock I hide
 back to a life filled with love
 
 to those I have harmed
 I ask you to bear with me
 I am a new man but old
 old ways are not easy to change
 
 some days, I lash out at those who love me
 through my fear, my shame and my pain
 my tongue is sharp and on edge
 with this verbal tongue inside my head
 I have caused wounds that have bled
 another foot stuck in my mouth.
 
 I am sorry, through my ignorance and fear
 I lost, all I hold dear
 I chased you away, because
 all I wanted, was to lay in my grave
 I laid down to die, all I could do was cry
 you caught, my eye, now I am unsure.
 just what to say,  what I should do.
 
 where do, I end, what do, I say, to begin anew
 a second chance, at being friends
 I have so few. When all I've done is run
 standing tall and being a man, is a new change
 
 Forgive me, I am new at all this
 Learning to Love and to stand
 to have gone from crawling to walking
 no training wheels on me
 
 I make mistakes and the shadow within it is grim
 I fear the past, the hurt and the pain.
 prior rejection, is my shame
 I fear the scars, the wounds, that run deep.
 
 to be a man, your man
 I hope! I wish! and I shall pray
 it is time to start from scratch
 to take a chance and allow fear
 to hold me back no more  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sportsdude on Aug 04 07 06:20
Happy times:
[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w77T0AncLKo"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w77T0AncLKo[/a]
 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Aug 04 07 06:42
 [h1 style="font-weight: normal;" id="video_title"][a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91euxMQ0Zyg%20"]Everybody Hurts[/a][/h1][h1 style="font-weight: normal;" id="video_title"]
[/h1]
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Aug 10 07 09:09
And life moves on :)

 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 10 07 11:55
Agree
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ace on Aug 11 07 12:15
You seem to be keeping a low profile lately, Orik.  I hope things are working out for the best...  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Frightened on Aug 11 07 12:29
Most afraid of not snakes nor mice nor death nor hugs nor cute babes, but cunningness and ruthlessness.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ace on Aug 11 07 12:31
Explain in further detail...  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Frightened on Aug 11 07 12:42
Snakes and mice you can avoid by only dwelling at pest-free places, or there's pest control.
Hugs and cute babes--it really depends on whom you have this with.  That I am not afraid, but I can be afraid of.
But cunningness and ruthlessness I am afraid of, because these are characteristics that are harder to see, yet they can cause great harm to people.

Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Frightened on Aug 11 07 12:48
Cunningness and ruthlessness are worse than death.  Death just happens once in a life time.  Cunningness and ruthlessness cause a person to destroy in order to "create".  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ace on Aug 11 07 12:51
Agreed.  A simple rule of thumb that I follow...  Never give more than you are willing to lose.  I'm not a religious person, but sometimes it all works out in the end, no?  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Frightened on Aug 11 07 01:04
I am not sure although you are probably right.  I have to give that some thoughts.  By simply living you already have the most precious thing, yet I think life, good or bad, has been taken for granted by us at least at some points of our lives.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Frightened on Aug 11 07 01:09
And no, I don't think things always work out in the end for some people, but it seems like their experiences leave trails for us to learn so that we can avoid their mistakes.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 11 07 01:39
But if a person's in a marriage/long term relationship, should he/she still keep track of what he/she can/can't lose?  Where's love?  Is it really just a feeling or yearn for pleasure?  It sounds sad if I have to think of what I can/can't afford to lose when I am supposed to be in love.....

Ace, do you consider yourself ever fallen in love before?
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 11 07 02:09
I thought it's time to post something encouraging....

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 11 07 02:47
One of those nights I'd read poems until I fall asleep...

Let Me Begin Again by Philip Levine

Let me begin again as a speck
of dust caught in the night winds
sweeping out to sea.  Let me begin
this time knowing the world is
salt water and dark clouds, the world
is grinding and sighing all night, and dawn
comes slowly and changes nothing.  Let
me go back to land after a lifetime
of going nowhere.  This time lodged
in the feathers of some scavenging gull
white above the black ship that docks
and broods upon the oily waters of
your harbour.  This leaking freighter
has brought a hold full of hayforks
from Spain, great jeroboams of dark
Algerian wine and quill pens that can't
write English.  The sailors have stumbled
off toward the bars or the bright houses.
The captian closes his log and falls asleep.
1/10/28.  Tonight I shall enter my life
after being at sea for ages, quietly,
in a hospital named for an automobile.
The one child of millions of children
who has flown alone by the stars
above the black wastes of moonless waters
that stretched forever, who has turned
golden in the full sun of a new day.
A tiny wise child who this time will love
his life because it is like no other.

Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 11 07 03:02
Although this poem does not directly define what love is, there are actually lots to look at if you pay attention to details and its real depth:

The Third Eye by Jay Macpherson

Of three eyes I would still give two for one.
The third eye clouds:  its light is nearly gone.
The two saw green, saw sky, saw people pass:
The third eye saw through order like a glass
To concentrate, refine and rarify
And make a Cosmos of miscellany.
Sight, world and all to save alive that one
Fading so fast!  Ah love, its light is done.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 11 07 03:31
Last two.  This one's the one I've been looking for:

Sonnet 43 - How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!  -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Last one:  

Sonnet 17 from One hundred love sonnets by Pablo Neruda (Patch Adam version sounds prettier though.  Mine's a direction translation)

I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain dark things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that rose
from the earth lives in my body in darkness.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.


Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: For Orik on Aug 11 07 11:10
For Orik

I won't chase your breath away.
We have changed.

Let these
words fly to where you are.  Touch you where
you are hurt.  Warm you where and when you
feel cold.  Hug you when you can't feel my love.
Give you the space when you tug these words
away.  Pull them out when you miss me.

I would love you to the end

Through my words that were
untidy, naughty, crowded, untimely, tentative,
tenacious, resigned, passive, inarticulate, cold.
I hurt you.  

Through your thoughts, you retaliated.
Competence.
I am shattered and frightened.

Through silence we punished us.

Let these words hold you in your hand.
Wrap you at the nape of your neck.
Kiss you on the lips.
Love you forever for me.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Ace on Aug 11 07 03:03
Sycamore wrote:
But if a person's in a marriage/long term relationship, should he/she still keep track of what he/she can/can't lose?  Where's love?  Is it really just a feeling or yearn for pleasure?  It sounds sad if I have to think of what I can/can't afford to lose when I am supposed to be in love.....

Ace, do you consider yourself ever fallen in love before?

To answer your question, no, I don't think I've ever actually 'fallen in love.'  I've come close, but I tend to shy away from commitment.  That could be why...
 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: once sycamore on Aug 11 07 05:24
Ace,  guess for some people they just don't really fall in love while some people they can fall madly in love.  I remember a time when I look into a guy's eyes, all I saw was practicality.

Oh, maybe you just have your ideals.  Some people believe that people need to "deserve love" in order to be loved.  Maybe you are one of them?  

I think, when you meet this one ideal girl, if you ever will, then you probably will not be afraid of commitment..... anymore.  And once you love, you won't think like what you can/cannot afford to lose.  My experience anyway.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Summerish on Aug 11 07 06:09
He

I sat in the front row, one seat in front of you
Chatty around me.
I turned, looked at you, and smiled.  You
were different.  You eyes told me so.
You played that stupid song so many times and
I hated it so much.  I wanted to smack you,
instead I threw those runners out the doors.  
You went frantic and ordered me to take them
back to you.  Did I?

I was felt so cold one night.  You told me to
run.  I didn't.  I didn't want to.

I don't want to, yet we were already running
at opposite directions when we met again.  
I caught a glimpse of you.  You caught a
glimpse of me.  People around us kept
running, 360 and 5. We were quickly pushed
apart.  I kept running, running.  It must be you.
You looked like the white eye of a wave.  
You went.  I cried.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: summerish on Aug 11 07 06:12
*I felt so cold one night
somehow "was" crept in.  hm..
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Wintery on Aug 11 07 11:27
Winter

If I cannot be there for you
If you will never love me,
If someday you want to dance
If someday I try to give up waiting
Let these words love you for me

I would love you to the end

Let them touch your face
when you are sad.  Company you
when you are lonely.  Soothe
you when you are angry (with
me.)  Cheer with you when you are
happy.  Congratulate you when
you succeed.  Gaze at you the
way I would.  Advise you
when you hate.....

I would love you to the end.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Timer on Aug 12 07 03:14
Our Arson

My love did not extinguish the
arson which burnt all the
way to our memories and dreams
that frightened friends and strangers.  
Charred those old poems I gave you.
Smoked your whole place when
the curious came.  My love was
a few drops of tears that quickly
evaporated.  My love was the
wind that spread that fire.  My
love was you before the fire.
I made so many mistakes too.
This time we scorched a boundary.
Too hot.  Too scorched.
You left.  I right.  
You right.  I left.
I miss holding your hand.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 12 07 03:26
all those unknown poems were from me.  not a good writer, just wrote from bottom of my heart.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 12 07 11:35
Love only

illogically makes my heart pound pound
pound until phone doorbell rings.  wasn't
for me.  then wait wait wait gazing out that
idyllic street children scream and run round
cherry trees.  i dream.  illogically i hold onto
dreams dreams dreams that we smashed
smashed smashed and mended mended
mended.  dreamers are we.  dreams of us
passing hills and shooting stars and fireworks
and homework and kitty and ducks and ponds
and highways and quarrels and squirrels and
borders and ages and tests and stop in front
of our tree, the coolest spot in a summer
afternoon to admire the view of our dream we
admitted to share and implement.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 13 07 01:30
Romance by Edgar Allan Poe

Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been--a most familiar bird--
Taught me my alphabet to say--
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child--with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal Condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky.
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings--
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away--forbidden things!
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Sycamore on Aug 13 07 02:41
from As You Like It by Shakespeare

(II 7:138-165)

All the world's stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.  At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.  And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.  Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth.  And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part.  The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
with spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.  Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness, and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.
Title: My heart is filled with tears.
Post by: Orik on Aug 21 07 10:59
                                                                                                            [p class="blogSubject"]My heart is filled with tears.                                                                                                                     
Current mood: [img]http://x.myspace.com/images/blog/moods/iBrads/scared.gif" align="absmiddle"] distressed                                                                                                                                                                                                        
Category:  [a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.viewCategory&FriendID=110105243&BlogCategoryID=25"]Writing and Poetry[/a]                                                                                                                  [/p]                                                                                                                 [p class="blogContent"]My heart is filled with tears.
Sorrow is all I know and have to give.
I want to Die and yet I live

Dear God: I scream, I shout,
Dear God what do you say.

The unfairness of life.
The troubles and strife.
How does one hold on, to hope
When that last ray of sun is gone.
When the rain falls down

Dear God: I scream, I shout,
Dear God what do you say.

When the trials and tribulations begin.
When your money runs out.
When your children go hungry
What what does a family do.
When prayer has failed

Dear God: I scream, I shout,
Dear God what do you say.

When your country has no welfare.
When no medical aid exists
When your dieing at home
What do you do.

Dear God: I scream, I shout,
Dear God what do you say.

When a girl not much older than 16 turns a trick
Acts out some dirty scene in front of a wall.
My eyes fill with tears they continue to fall...
How unfair. how unjust.

Dear God: I scream, I shout,
Dear God what do you say.
What loving God can allow
These girls to do what they must

I scream, I shout, I sit back and cry.
My heart is filled with sorrow
Maybe things will be better tomorrow[/p]
Title: Sweet Memories
Post by: Orik on Sep 09 07 05:22
 [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]
[/span][/font][div style="text-align: center;"][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"](http://i21.tinypic.com/2n1e42r.jpg)

[/span][/font][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][/span][/font][/div][div style="text-align: center;"][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]Sweet Memories written by me[/span][/font]
[font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][/span][/font][/div][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]
[/span][/font]  
Title: Gloomy Sunday
Post by: Orik on Sep 25 07 04:49
[div style="text-align: center;"][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbngZiXYOy4" target="_blank"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbngZiXYOy4[/a][/span][/font]
[font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]Gloomy Sunday as sung by Loreena McKennitt [/span][/font]
[font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]video creater unknown[/span][/font]
[font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][/span][/font][/div][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]
[/span][/font] [div style="text-align: center;"][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][img name="img" src="http://i2.tinypic.com/63x0bpv.gif" style="cursor: default; width: 289px; height: 302px;" onclick="doimage(this,event)" border="0"][img name="img" src="http://i6.tinypic.com/4q55oq9.jpg" style="cursor: default; width: 303px; height: 302px;" onclick="doimage(this,event)" border="0"][/span][/font]
 [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][/span][/font][/div] [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"]
[/span][/font] [div style="text-align: center;"][font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][img name="img" src="http://i22.tinypic.com/ri69zs.jpg" style="cursor: default;" onclick="doimage(this,event)" border="0"][/span][/font]
 [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][/span][/font][/div]

it is not often a song makes me weep with abandon
but this song sung by this woman had me shedding tears...

   
Title: Damn Rain
Post by: Orik on Sep 25 07 04:56
       
I miss the sunshine

cold wet and dreary
rain sure makes a grown man weary
i sigh and wonder when will it be back
sunshine i do lack


     
Title: Boredom Bump
Post by: Orik on Oct 02 07 05:08
Sure is quiet and this thread slowly sinks back in to obscurity...
   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Oct 07 07 01:12
[table bgcolor="#ffffdd" border="1"][tbody][tr][td colspan="2" align="center"][small]Anti-Spam Bot-Stopper
    Please type the text below into this field[/small][/td][/tr]    [tr][td align="center"]     [table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr][td]
[/td][td rowspan="2" class="at_r1"]mi[/td][td]
[/td][/tr][tr][td]cos[/td][td]c[/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/td][td][input name="sauce_check" value="92b75b9b23931085361c521b19ae97d3" type="hidden"][input name="sauce" size="10" type="text"][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

tap dance lessons on the moon  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: BattleToad 9000+ on Oct 07 07 03:30
 its gunna happen
just make it  easier on urself
u cant resist me
smell my musk
smell my dirty musk
and tell me u liek it  


 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Mar 25 08 06:48
Daughter Of Eve

A girl of grins
In the dark night
Mindful of man's sin
You are a delight.
Jizel, a impudent lass is she.
Filled with a spark of life
Even the angels hearken
to hear her laugh.

This mischievous girl
So kind, so sweet, is Jizel
More graceful, than any gazelle
Jizel you astound me & confound me
Your sister Jenn
She is a mystery to me
I know her not so well

Your leaving & traveling away
Makes a part of me glad
and yet I'm so sad.
To say good-bye, my dear lass
To the good, remembrance past

I can only say
I shall miss you
A little more
With each passing day
Time draws nigh
soon you will leave
I will have to say goodbye
My wishes go with thee
A prayer for thy safety

May your travel
Be swift, pleasant & safe
May we meet once more
By the redeemers grace
Remember me, as I remember you
Jizel, My dear friend  
God Bless You.

Written by
Devan S Peace
March, 25, 2008  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Lil Me on Mar 25 08 07:20
Hey Orik!  *waves*  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Russ on Mar 26 08 10:18
Hey Orik!

  Hope alls well with you.
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Mar 27 08 05:41
 Hello lil me waves back. howdy russ. im fine thanks. just took a extended break from all the forums to spend time on me. mostly working, reading, playing video games, etcetra.

bye for now.

   
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Apr 05 08 08:15
writers block. how i hate it, how u all must love it. lol  
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Vivek Golikeri on Apr 12 08 05:23
Orik, your poetry is absolutely artistic and enjoyable. I myself am a writer and a poet, and some of my poems have been published in anthologies. You might also look up the poetry of Linda Eve Diamond on the internet. She's my friend and lives in the same neighborhood where I live. Linda is the author of "Listeners, Unite!" Her books are as full of common sense wisdom as those of Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale. Good luck, Orik....you deserve success!
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Apr 13 08 02:49
wow thank you vivek i am so used to people not liking my poetic free verse. i am blushing at ur kind comments. if u were logged in, i would positively bless you. you made my day . (http:///forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/13.gif)  
Title: tired of this fight
Post by: Orik on Jul 07 08 11:39
Day after day
fight after fight
so much trouble
so much strife
mahal i love u so[/p]  this fighting
make me feel
so bad
so alone
so sad[/p]  i know u work hard for ur girls
and i am ashamed
my actions my words
i am to blame[/p]  take what u want and what u need
i am so tired of these fights
maybe you know better than i
what they do and what they need
i still don't think it's right
but who am i to say
just how much you pay[/p]  my heart it hurts
ever so much so
broken and crying
i come back for more[/p]  i storm, yell and rage
yet you stoically
stand their ever so brave
you don't fight back
and i feel so bad[/p]  yell at me call
me some names
say Devan u ass
give me a slap
damn that hurt
i needed that[/p]  sighs[/p]  i am ever so tired of this fight
but you my love
i still want you as my wife[/p]  
Title: Jelousy
Post by: Orik on Jul 18 08 05:34
[font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][span class="spnMessageText"][a href="jvascript:openWindow3('pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=158')" title="View Devan S Peace's Profile" onmouseover="(window.status='View Devan S Peace\'s Profile'); return true" onmouseout="(window.status=''); return true"]Seloso Selosa
[/a][/span]
[/font]                 [/p]                                  [/p][font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][span class="spnMessageText"][/span][/font][a name="86215"][/a]                                        [/p][table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%" height="100%"][tbody]                     [tr]                       [td valign="top" height="100%"][font color="midnightblue" size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"] I have tired my self out
trying to make it right
i have tried to see my way clear
tried to put a end to this fight

i love her and hold her dear
respect and trust are gone
what is done can not be undone
can i forget, what i saw
with my own 2 eyes
you in bed with some other guy

move on move on
easier said than done
how does one give up 6 months
of a love and hate relationship


sadly i have lost my way
this jealousy it is here to stay
the woman i loved is gone
the one that stays
is the one who makes me cry
i die a little more everyday

the contempt i see in her eyes
the no nonsense sighs
i am dead to her
just trash to be thrown away

i love her
yet i see no reason to stay
our intimate times
are long past done and gone
 
like dust to the wind
nothing left but to dig
this grave craven man am i
i wish to crawl inside
layer the soil on top of me

end this turmoil
this pain inside of me
rip out my heart and be done with me
you tell me you love me so
show me you love me
before i leave and forever go

what happens next is up to you
i love you
but i fear you do not love me
leonard, rich, tom or steve
which of us, is it to be
it is me ! or them!
like the highlander
their can be only one

chose the path u walk and what u wish
my beloved one lead me on no more
if you want me come get me
if i don't hear from you

paalam forever more

[/span][/font][font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][span class="spnMessageText"][/span][/font][font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][a href="jvascript:openWindow3('pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=158')" title="View Devan S Peace's Profile" onmouseover="(window.status='View Devan S Peace\'s Profile'); return true" onmouseout="(window.status=''); return true"]Devan S Peace[/a][/font]
[/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]                 [a name="86215"][/a]
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Aug 06 08 10:56
what is past is done.
 what was is gone
the love in my heart remains
but our relationship can never be the same.

single again.

for sale everything.

free to a good home.
one used and abused heart
 slightly broken

bigo ang puso...

turns out the lights and closes the door.

silence



 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik_Basher on Nov 08 08 03:55
hear i sit in the hospital once more wondering just what to do buy a tv for the night untill they dope me to sleep about 10 pm pay my 15 bucks for crap telly shows and even worse movies. nurses some r sure cute but they wont look at a sick inmate twice and i feel more like a inmate than i do a patient at times... dont get me wrong the nurses and doctors work pretty damned hard and take a lot of shit in more than one way... i feel for these folks toiliong away with the spewtum and sludge the god aeful drudgery... doctors and nurses volenteers and nurses aids thank fully they r nice most days and they r hear to make us well but sadly the lonelyness sets in and the same old same boredom and routine is enough to drive a man bleeding mad if he isnt all ready... every 3 minutes i have to copy and save what i write cause im disconected from the nurses station definetly not so nice but this i can understand its the hospital pc and not supposed to be typed on by patiant hands haha :) ingat take care and god bless them all another day abocve ground is very damned nice breathing let it not be my last vice i could use a beer ior 2 or 3 but no more drinking my kliver said to me now its wait and see i wonder if im all ready on the waiting list for a transpalnt would they even tell me ?
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik on Nov 15 08 03:58
interesting question i have


prisoners have laundry services

hospital patients do not

prisoners have free tv

hospital patients do not

prisoners and hospitals patients 3 squares a day

some times the food is better in prison ? mmmm dont know but i can vouch for hospital food some times im not very hungry,,, and im always hungry  except right now :(




prisoners get time off for good behavior

hospital patients rarely if ever get time off for much of anything


sighs

our system is seriously screwed up :(

so who is really the inmate someways and some-days i feel it is me


 
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Gopher on Nov 16 08 11:33
Great to know you're well enough to beaware of these things - it's a good sign
Title: Re: Lost In the shadows of my mind
Post by: Orik_Basher on Nov 23 08 11:29
nice to know im not the only one who hounds the nurses unmercilessly they do a great job of not going balistic when was the last time u heard of a nurse blowing patiants away unlike mailmen :D grins evily  
Title: Jesus Ball
Post by: Orik on Dec 02 08 12:49
i dont remember if i ever posted this one or not

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Jesus Ball

Forgive Me
Forget Me Not
The Tears Fall The Wold Blurs
A Great Woman
The World Turns

Another Day
The Sobs The Pain
My Breath Taken Away
A Simple Laugh
A Loving Smile

More Sausage Please
Running Out The Door
Down The Street
Screaming No Fair
Me At 5 Years Old

A Simple Memory
Of The Greatest Woman I Know
Rest In Peace
Be With God

Love You Gram mama
Miss You Much
But Your Memory
Fills Me With Smiles
And Joy

Though My Heart Is Breaking
My Family Is In Grief
Your Lessons Of Love Compassion
And Teaching Me How To Share
They still remain

Miss You Grams Miss you Much
But I Know You Will All Ways Be Their.
Sleep Well Gram ma
Celebrate Your Wings

Ring Your Bells Loud My Friends
Cause Gram ma Pressler Just Joined The Ranks Of Angels
The Heavens Above Are Now A Greater Place
We Here Upon This Earth Are Saddened God Called You Home
But You Were Needed By The King
To Dance In His Grand Hall

Save Me A Spot
And When My Time Has Come
I Shall Join You At Jesus's Ball

In Loving Memory of the Greatest Women I have Ever Known

In Memory of Esther Alice Pressler born 28 December 1905 - Feb 7th 2006