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Messages - primefactor

#1
My FC recommended that I throw this question out to the DS community. He's sure someone might have a helpful tip. Here's the situation:

One of the places on which I advertise for new clients for my math tutoring business is on Craig's List. I have had good luck with them, but one annoyance keeps rearing its ugly mug. More than half the responses I get are from scammers who use a cookie-cutter format which goes something like this: (But, y'know, without the sarcastic bits I've inserted...)

"Hello, teacher! I am writing you from a far away country that I may or may not be able to spell. (Please disregard the fact that my email address bears no country suffix...) My child will be spending time alone in the US, staying with a nanny/family member/family friend. I desperately want for you to teach my child, even though I don't know a darned thing about you. Please tell me the amount you will charge me for a large block of tutoring time, so I can send you a bogus cashier's check, then either send you one for too large an amount and ask you to send me the difference, or tell you that due to circumstances, my child will not be coming, could you please send back your own check for the amount I sent you."

I get DOZENS of these. First I thought they were legit, and wasn't it strange that so many people had the same story? Then I got wise and cautiously told them I deal only in cash, in person. Then I started to get downright cranky, and send them back scolding emails, telling them that if they got a little tutoring for THEMSELVES, maybe a year from now they'd have a marketable skill and could make money honestly. I know it's spitting into the wind, yes... I know I should delete their emails and let it go. But I was wondering...

Is there any way to do something via email that would be as annoying to them as they are to me? I was musing about it to darling FC, and he said put the question up to the DS folks, they're clever.

Any ideas?
 
#2
I guess I'm your token leftie.

I hold my pencil funny, turn the page at an angle, the works. When they insisted on teaching us pen-and-ink instead of cursive back in grade school (ah, the 70s and their amusing notions of "progress"...) I had to learn to write all my sentences upside down and backwards, because otherwise the ink smeared. (And I still can't write in cursive!)

The only thing I do with my right hand is scissors, because when I went to shop for my first day of school, the store didn't have any leftie scissors, so my mom got the regular kind and said, "Just learn to deal with it."

And that whole left-brain/right-brain thing is sort of misleading, because most of the artists and poets I know are righties, and I'm a mathematician and a leftie. Go figure.
#3
[A href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/judgejudyreign.html"]http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/judgejudyreign.html[/A]

Speaking of judges who refuse to suffer a fool gladly, check out this animation of Judge Judy "taking care of" people who get on her nerves...

The soundtrack is real!

(Warning: Gets sort of bloody. Do not watch with kids or at work or around Grandma!)
#4
TehBorken wrote:
I dated a girl who had labia rings, and I've got to tell you that they have a tendency to get snagged on stuff at the worst possible moments

I took mine out after three years for exactly that reason. Yeeeowch!

 
#5
P.C. wrote:

Something tells me he's had a knock or two about the head already.

Word, sista.

The most attractive thing a guy can do with his noggin is stuff it with information.
 
 
#6
tenkani wrote:
a woman gave her boyfriend oral sex and, without his knowledge, transferred his money shot from her mouth to the freezer and then took the chowder down to a fertility clinic to be implanted.

I think this one's an urban legend, because the temperature of an ordinary household freezer will not keep sperm in a re-usable state. It does not cool them fast enough and corrupts the "body" part of the sperm.

And even if she'd happened to have a medical-grade freezing unit in her kitchen, wouldn't it have been smarter just to take the shot no farther than her bathroom and... er, deposit it in the typical place herself?
#7
I'm glad it wasn't a statement against religion, because it makes those of us who are working diligently to destroy organized religion a bad name.

Aw, shucks... just kidding. (Sort of.)

Churches pretty, religion ugly. A strange paradox. I wonder about this.
#8
Doh wrote:
She was also given six points on her licence.

What's the deal with "points"? I'm not familiar with that system. Do you lose your right to drive if you get a certain number of them or something?

I wish someone could pass out a bunch of them to my grandmother and get her off the road. That woman is a menace, and it is VERY VERY difficult to get an elderly person to stop driving. I have no idea why they don't have mandatory behind-the-wheel testing every year or two for seniors.
#9
I  miss Damon Hill. It just isn't the same sport for me anymore.

And I hope JV gets ingrown toenails. Lots of 'em. The guy's a good driver, but a total jerk.
#10
That's it. I'm getting a Victoria's Secret card and maxing it out. It's the patriotic thing to do!

If I don't buy some new thongs, the terrorists win.
#11
Sportsdude wrote:
"The foundations of this country started with Christianity, and this just goes
back and acknowledges where we started," said the Rev. David Clippard,
executive director of the Missouri Baptist Convention.

[/DIV]Bullsh*t! This country started with freedom from religious persecution, and the Founding Fathers were Deists, not Christians!
[/DIV]I lived in Missouri for 18 months. Most of the people I met had no curiosity, no creativity. It was like the whole state was a monstrous suburb full of TV-addicted, fast-food munching ninnies.

I know there must be cool people there, as anywhere, but I wasn't lucky enough to meet any!

Missouri was the final nail in the coffin of my first marriage.
#12
Discover Seattle! / Re: SIKHISM
Mar 07 06 05:12
There were a couple of kids at my children's old school who were caucasian converts to Sikhism. They were boys, and had this super-long hair which they rolled up in cloth and wore in a cinnamon-bun-like spiral on top of their heads.

And even though their parents were these extremely mellow airy-hippie type, the boys were really violent and bad tempered and sassy. I had this funny feeling it was because they were teased for the way they looked, and they sort of had to kick ass to keep other kids off their backs.
#13
The one time I had nitrous it was sort of nightmarish. (And not just because they were scraping my wisdom teeth out!) I had a lot of auditory and tactile hallucinations and felt panicky, worried that the feeling would never go away. Yipes! Maybe my dentist gave me too much.

But I have to confess... I loves me dem prescription opiates. It's a very good thing they don't sell Percodan at the Piggly Wiggly, or I'd be a mess.

They make me feel so loving. One time I ended up at the grocey store on Darvon, staring at the breakfast cereals, going, "They're so... beautiful! Look at them!"

Thank God I have to be injured to get them. Keeps me in line!
#14
TehBorken wrote:
[img style="WIDTH: 484px; HEIGHT: 362px" alt=http://aces.tabulas.com/jahmeel/big/domokun-gokillskittens.jpg src="http://aces.tabulas.com/jahmeel/big/domokun-gokillskittens.jpg"]

I love this!

Would this be considered a "pubic service announcement"?

(My sincere apologies for the very very bad pun...)



 
#15
TehBorken wrote:
[H3]         Websites blocked by political stripes for Marines in Iraq?        [/H3]Join the Marines and protect our freedom! (Some restrictions may apply...)