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General Category => Discover Seattle! => Topic started by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:30

Title: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:30
hey there! 16 (17 in aug) year old female here! currently live in vancity w/ my parents but am seriously considering moving out. im still at my first job (and have been there since last august so im able to keep one!) i already have a car (insured for another year) as well as a potential roommate. im just wondering at what age you all moved out. if it was young did you regret it later? or maybe it turned out alright? i realise im still so young, but theres many reasons (serious ones) that i feel the need to leave. thanks...
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: kingy on Apr 05 07 11:36
i thought you had to be atleast 18 before you were legally allowed to move out?  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Gopher on Apr 05 07 11:37
When you've gotta go, you've gotta go - age is immaterial.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 11:39
I'm not sure what you mean by serious (and you don't need to explain) but if it's something tolerable (house rules, chores etc) I'd tough it out.  Rushing into a world with the cost of living what it is wouldn't be my first choice.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:40
21  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 11:40
21 what?
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:41
well she asked what age we 'moved out' for me it will be 21.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:42
oh, i didnt know you had to be a certain age:( i'd be living with someone who is of age though, just giving him the money for rent. the place is and would be in his name only.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:43
let me guess? boyfriend? girl come on your only 16  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 11:43
I believe it is legal to move out at 16 but again, wouldn't be my first choice.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 11:43
Here in the states you can become an "amancipated minor".

Maybe there's something similar in Canadia?    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:44
I just don't think its too smart to be moving out when you haven't even finished school, (probably) and above else most likely a live in boyfriend who's probably much older.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:45
i knew someone would bring up house rules/chores haha. and no we dont agree on rules/curfews but what teenager agrees with their parents right?? im aware that everyone agrues and if it was only disagreements i would tough it out. its a little bit more though. i appreciate everyones input thus far! thank u! (waaay better than DV haha)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 11:46
With the cost of living, you could risk being an emaciated minor.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:47
First I'd like to know
Why are you moving out?
Is this guy your bf?
Are you finished with school?

living with someone at your age is just too risky, your going down a bad path, imo.
 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:48
not at all a boyfriend. just someone i currently work with and for some reason trust alot. we're both going to through "stuff" right now, i need a place to go, he needs a roommate. his last one didnt turn out so good. loooong story, wont get into that either.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 11:50
Is anyone else humming a Billy Joel song right now?  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 11:50
its a little bit more though.

  I asked that in a way that allowed for that possibility.  Sorry you're having troubles, I hope whatever you choose to do works out.

  *I'm sure you've probably heard more than enough advice, but here's mine.

Make sure your arrangements with your roommate are in writing....dated and signed by each.

If you pay cash for anything.....get a receipt (for the protection of both parties)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 11:52
If he's a heterosexual male then I hope you're not expecting some sort of platonic relationship once you move in, 'cause he's probably not. If he's gay then it might work out fine.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:53
 so he's single, your single and then your living together? Hmm not a good combo there.  Plus he's older he could take advantage of you, no matter how much you 'trust' him.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 11:53
reason: family problems im not willing to post up on the internet

school: next year would be my last

boyfriend: not at all. "big brother" figure? definitly

  i know 16 is young. thats why ive been thinking this through for so long. its not something i necesarly want to do, but something i almost need to? i wish i had a happy family life, but i dont. dont get me wrong, ive always had everything ive ever wanted we're not poor, and never have been hungry or anything. reasons are way deeper  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:53
 yeah he's single, your single. That's just inviting trouble at the door and leaving it wide open.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 11:54
By the way. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 11:56
I've had many platonic roommate relationships with guys.  [span style="text-decoration: underline;"]It's fine.[/span]
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Gopher on Apr 05 07 11:56
Yes, and keep in touch with us and let us know how it's going: we're all there for you.    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: TehBorken on Apr 05 07 11:57
 Here are the guidelines for the US, if that helps:

[a href="http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/emancipate1.php"][span class="norm"][span class="mtitle"]What Constitutes Emancipation[/span][/span][/a]

This is more for child support purposes but the guidelines are the same.
[/div][div]
 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 11:57
 really lil me? all the girls that I've known who've done this sort of arrangement have ended up dating the guy and since they lived together already it went really crazy really fast.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:00
Sportsdude wrote:
well she asked what age we 'moved out' for me it will be 21.
 
 
Yeah, but you haven't left yet.  Situations can change.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:02
Lil, if you're an adult female who is used to taking care of yourself it's one thing. If you're a teenager who just left home and are living in the home of an adult male I think things can get a little more complicated. But mainly my point was that however she views their relationship, if the guy is hetero then he's most likely thinking something else.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:02
i honestly appreciate everything thats being said. i realise there is alot to think about when leaving home for the first time. its not a decision im going to make over night. i dont plan on waking up one morning, packing up and leaving. either summertime, or ideally early next year. (around spring break next year?) i would have more money saved up and school would be finishing up. thanks everyone  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 12:02
 not really, I don't see my situation drastically changing. I'm leaving regardless of what happens in August  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 12:07
If you're a teenager who just left home and are living in the home of an adult male I think things can get a little more complicated. But mainly my point was that however she views their relationship, if the guy is hetero then he's most likely thinking something else.

  I agree with this BIG time.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:07
a little off topic, what are the "karma points" or whatever displayed next to my name?  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:08
I've just finished reading your posts.  You do sound like you're mature and have been thinking about this seriously with lots of thought.  I sincerely wish you luck in moving out.  I do hope that if it doesn't work out, that you have a place to go.  You know, like a back up.  ie. your big brother/sister (if you have any who has moved out) or may be back at your parents.

  I started moving out when I was 18.  It was a dumb move on my part because I held two part-time jobs as well as attending uni.  I won't go into details of my life story but I jsut wanted to say that it will be tough.  You'll definitely learn how to handle adversity life throws at you because you're forced to.  

  I wish you all the best and do keep in touch. :)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:10
I'd like to add that I'm concerned about you living with an older roommate, especially one that is male.  I wouldn't do that.  Couldn't you get a flat with a female roommate?  Like with a female best friend or with your sister if you have any?
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 12:12
  I say don't do it.
If you want to move out, wait until you finish school and then go to a university and dorm there. It complishes the same goal you want to do now, except with more secruity and a safer atmosphere.

As much as you think you know this guy, you don't. You are a teen he's probably not much older, things will get weird.
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:13
Once you've posted a certain number of times (10 maybe?) you can bless or smite other posters. Bless someone if you like their attitude and whatnot. Smite them if you don't. It's not really an accurate system since you can get smited a lot from one or two people who don't like you, but it gives you a general idea. Um...like if you ever ran into someone with only a couple blesses and like, I don't know, 70+ smites then chances are that person is a subhuman freak and you should keep your distance.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:15
i also realise an older guy = dumb idea. especially when listening to this and not knowing who he actualy is. female friends...um ive talked to a few and one has agreed for early next year. so either i could wait (which is what everyone is going to tell me to do) living with this guy would definitly be temporary.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 12:15
Why is everyone so paranoid about this girl/guy sharing an apt thing?  Just because two people are alone, doesn't mean they will be having s3x.  I've lived with guys, travelled with guys and shared teeny tiny tents with guys...and not had s3x with them!  (btw, I am heterosexual...)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:17
haha thanks tenkani. i wont smite u no worries
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 12:19
 where do you want to go to school?
How about focusing on that before risking your future by moving in with a guy, even though you aren't a couple, you are still moving in with a guy.

To a guy this is like a dream come true. I bet that's what he's thinking too, no matter how 'trusting' you feel about him, he could be just playing you.

If it was an older sister then I wouldn't be acting so stern but moving in with this guy is like playing russian roulette with your future.
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:20
Um...like if you ever ran into someone with only a couple blesses and like, I don't know, 70+ smites then chances are that person is a subhuman freak and you should keep your distance.'  
 Uh, can you give advice tenkani when your smite is at 31. You know, there's a REASON!  LOL   (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/4.gif)

 

 Dang it, my smite is high too....

 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:21
vancityang3l wrote:
haha thanks tenkani. i wont smite u no worries
Smite him.  You can smite me too. :)
 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 12:21
I say don't do it.
If you want to move out, wait until you finish school and then go to a university and dorm there. It complishes the same goal you want to do now, except with more secruity and a safer atmosphere.


  This may not be the case at all SD.  We have no way of knowing that where she is, is a safer atmosphere.

  I think it sounds like you've got her head on straight, and would simply recommend remaining open to advice that will help make it work.

    *as far as girl and girl roommates?  Sometimes that can be worse IMHO.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:22
Whatever you chose to do, just becareful.  It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. :)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 12:22
 Good luck to you.
 
 EDIT: If you're thinking about leaving home next year, start stockpiling the toothpaste and TP like now :)  You too, SD.
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:23
ha thanks lil me! thats the other thing. ive always got along way better with guys then i do girls. i am rather strong willed, and used to getting what i want and girls dont seem to like that. i grew up with 2 guys being my best friends until i was 9 or 10. being around guys is pretty normal for me. even now i have 2 female best friends and many more male. im not one to be easily "pushed over"  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:23
Agreed PC.  Having female vs male roommates both have pluses and minuses.  I personally prefer having male roommates because I get along with guys, but that's just me.    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 12:25
 why do I think the ultimate outcome will be sex?
Its too easy.
You've most likely got a college aged male with a teenage girl who will most likely play the innocent card like all teenage girls do.  She'll get trapped.

Its just too easy.

I'm a male and I wouldn't move into an apartment with a girl or girls because I know what the end result will be. Its just too easy to predict the ending outcome here, that's all.
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: weird al on Apr 05 07 12:27
I knew this girl who moved out of her parents' place while she was still in school ( 2 or 3 girls, come to think of it).

  Anyway, this girl and her father were like cat and dog - constantly on each other's case, always involved in heavy arguments. There was no hint of abuse, just really bad chemistry. She moved out, worked, finished school, the whole deal.

  Cool young lady, smart, funny and tough. Eventually her dad said "c'mon back, I bought you a bunch of nice furniture"

  She says, "thanks dad, but I didn't move out 'cause of the furniture."

They're fine now but at the time, she absolutely had to get away from all the hassle.

  I think when somebody is determined to live on their own, the best advice is not about Yes or No, but about practical matters. Things like: "not knowing who he actualy is"



 This ^ sucks. Things can get very complicated very fast. Like, how many people are coming over at any given time? Who are they?

Especially when you don't really know him.

  I'd say, it sounds like you've gotta get out, but try to set it up so there's stability and security. It's do-able.

   Good luck.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:27
Nope, not all male is after sex, only SD might be. ;)

  Many males, the right ones, will respect the female and know his boundaries and limits.  There is such a thing as being platonic friends with a female and not be thinking about sex 24/7 and how to jump her bones when she's asleep!

  I think that you've been influenced to think that SD because of where you live and who you have been surrounded by.  It's different here.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 12:27
Most of my friends are guys, too.  Always have been.  The main problem with living with them is they tend to be slobs!  But there are benefits to having male roommates: they can run c*ckblock for you, and it's nice to have a male viewpoint on things.  We would come home on Fri and Sat night and we'd sit around re-hashing our dates and giving each other advice.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:30
Sounds like Lil Me had good times. :)))
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:31
It's not that you two will have sex necessarily.

It's that sex is probably on his mind.

And you never know how a person will react to rejection until it happens. Being young and not particularly self-sufficient yet (you won't have much in the way of savings) just makes it a weird situation. Some people get very vindictive when their romantic plans are dashed.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on Apr 05 07 12:32
 True I've been influenced by my surroundings here. If I was the guy in this situation I wouldn't act like the guys around here do.

But I believe first that male-female roomates can only work if you say from the begining that you have no feelings for him and he says like wise. Because if there is an inkling of any time of feelings between the two its bound to get weird and then you need to move out. You can't date each other when you live with each other.  Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself now.
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 05 07 12:32
 Could you imagine a DS reality show?  All of us living in a house together?  -shudder-  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:32
start stockpiling TP and toothpaste..got it! haha.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:36
o wow, he is the furthest thing from a slob. total opposite. i think he may have a lil OCD! he told he was looking for a roommate (his last was a guy and that didnt work out at all!) he said hed only agree to living with a female or a gay guy. so cleanliness not a problem here
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:37
If you want advice on how men secretely think and feel, and how they really view young women who're in close proximity to them, don't ask a woman. Most women really have no clue and the proof is demonstrated above. Sorry, but I don't believe Canadian men are inherently different than Americans when it comes to such things. Think about it, how different, really, is Canadian and American culture when it comes to the relationship between the sexes?

  I can say without a doubt that any straight man living with a 16 year old girl in his house and no supervision should not be trusted. At the very least, if he's got a lot of self-control, he will only masterbate while thinking of you every night.

  Sorry to be so blunt, but I think it's necessary.    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: weird al on Apr 05 07 12:39
anyhow, like I was sayin, if you gotta move, then you gotta, but if you can't find anything that provides the stability and security that I think are paramount, you could always consider staying for a while at weird al's B&B. (and B)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:41
OMG.

I'm afraid to ask what the third B is for     (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Shocked/3.gif)
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: weird al on Apr 05 07 12:42
That's bed&bondage. There was a third B?

Oh yeah, breakfast!
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 12:43
 [DIV style="OVERFLOW: auto; WIDTH: 100%"]     I think when somebody is determined to live on their own, the best advice is not about Yes or No, but about practical matters. Things like: "not knowing who he actualy is"

 THAT'S an excellent consideration weird al.  Sex or no sex isn't the biggest issue here.  

 Have you considered a background check?  How someone behaves at work only paints half the picture.

 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: purelife on Apr 05 07 12:43
Yeah, you're right tenkani.  A girl would be the worst to ask about how a guy thinks.  You made lots of sense from your last post, tenkani.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:45
Sorry to be so blunt, but I think it's necessary.

  no need to be sorry! i totally appreciate it! this is the reason i posted something like this. i knew asking a few friends wouldnt give me the feedback i was looking for.

  now another thing. money. i might as well bring it up! i obviously have only a PT job. i make $900-1000/month. rents $450, so is approx $400 enough? he said rent is really all id be paying for, but i obviously wouldnt make him buy all my food? is it really too little, or could i manage for little while?    
   
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: tenkani on Apr 05 07 12:48
 That's bed&bondage. There was a third B?

Oh yeah, breakfast!

  You know, I was just saying the other day that DS needs an official dominatrix...[/DIV]
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 05 07 12:51
backround check?? this guys not a criminal. he had a really tough upbringing too. we've talked about it many times. his past girlfriend actually beat him! he'd come to work w/ black eyes and bruised ribs since he would never hit her back (defend himself) so even though it hurt him, i see it as something positive: him getting hit and never retaliating. he has been to jail, just spent the night. one night they were having a loud fight and neighbours called the cops. he was taken in. released the next morning however, cause he honestly did not touch her when questioned later. hes told me all of this, and the same story to another mutual good friend of ours, and he clearly has nothing to hide. its happened and we all move on.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 05 07 01:00
Just some suggestions to make sure you've considered all things to be considered.

Good Luck Angel. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/k010.gif" border=0]
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lise on Apr 05 07 02:56
First,  I gotta say to vancity. You're superhawt from your picture and mighty brave to put your image up.

 Secondly, 16 years old and thinking of moving out on your own is too early. I know, call me old-fashion but you're still too young. You've got a whole life ahead of you, why not just hang in there a few more years? Sometimes you crash heads with your parents but that's part of life.

 Third, looking at your salary, I don't know if you can get by with that much. There are other expenses that you need to consider and they change from month to month to month. Unexpected charges can occur and so many things can go wrong. It's better to live with your parents and start saving now. After graduation from school then think about moving out. At least you have some savings with you.

 Fourth, as for the living a boy situation.... it's a bit dicey there. When you start moving in with someone, things change. Your relationship will change. Even if it's a girl, it'll change. You'll start getting on each other's nerve, you'll start seeing each other in a different light. So expect the unexepected.

 If you're still gung-ho on moving out, then by all means, go ahead. There's nothing to stop you, you're sound like a fairly independent woman who knows what she wants and can get. I still think you're too young but if your set on leaving, then all the best of luck with you. I had a friend who left her place around your age and she's the most independent and strong-willed person I know. She still is and I'm in awe of her.

 Good luck and may the force be with you.

 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Marik on Apr 06 07 03:39
OK vancityangel, I think 16 years old is too young to be moving out, but if your mind is made up, I can't change it.  

Some things I would be concerned about:

Make sure you have a backup person to live with (maybe a good friend who goes to your school?) if this doesn't work out. And the rent bill there - about $400, yes? Does that include hydro and all those other things? Or is the other guy paying it? What if this guy decides he wants you to pay for something he normally pays for one month? Your budget is pretty tight, so if you have $50 or whatever left over at the end of the month, don't spend it - save it just in case.

Are you going to be living somewhere close to where you attend school? A $40 concession fare / month for public transit adds to the expenses if you're not within walking distance.

I hope this guy you're planning on moving in with won't take advantage of you. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.


 
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Queer Eye on Apr 06 07 05:02
[FONT color=#ff00ff]I think people are overreacting.  There are lots of men out there who would gladly help out this young girl.  Take our friend, Alan, for instance:[/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OZzp7HSKs"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OZzp7HSKs[/A][/FONT]
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: i wish on Apr 07 07 03:48
i'm wasn't going to say anything.  because i don't know him.  but i wonder who kind of person would tolerate beatings and how would he be now.  sounds like he has mental problems.  also, living with the opposite sex usually ends up having sex.  and he's gota wonder about that.  sounds good on his side.  for you your parents must be very protective about that.  i work with a 20 yo girl who's had lots of sexual relationships, so this would be a no brainer.  but for someone as young and i'm guessing innocent as you could become a problem.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 07 07 10:24
Good reminder QE.   It's so easy to overlook that these guys always appear to be so nice and so normal to their neighbours and co-workers.......at least that's what they all say on the news AFTER tragedy strikes.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 07 07 10:28
so i have an update for everyone:

  i have heard his crazy girlfriend is back in the picture:( i saw him yesterday, he didnt mention anything except for grandma + a few friends coming over for easter. the two of them getting back together means shes living w/ him again, and i am not willing to lose sleep when then of them are fighting or when i baseball bat comes through my door. so my decisions been made up for me i guess. i probably should talk to him though...im honestly worried. i care alot about this guy (in a friendly way, dont go jumping to any conclusions there folks!)  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Gopher on Apr 07 07 10:29
Another thing vancityanng, make sure you've got some back up and a second line of defence (i.e. a 'retreat') just in case things go wrong and you need to get out fast.    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 07 07 10:35
thinking about it, i do have a "backup" place to go. the backup would definitly be a temporary place though. and itd be free for one thing while i found another.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Gopher on Apr 07 07 10:39
Good,  it's always wise to have a place to run to if necessary - even if it's only for a day or two.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: 49er on Apr 07 07 12:02
Leave on good terms if possible, try not to burn your bridges...... make it your final backup if things don't work out.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lise on Apr 07 07 05:01
Gopher wrote:
Another thing vancityanng, make sure you've got some back up and a second line of defence (i.e. a 'retreat') just in case things go wrong and you need to get out fast.

   
     Words of the wise. I heartily agree with Gopher on this point.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: i wish on Apr 07 07 05:47
there's always people looking for roommates posted in the college science buildings.  you practically, have the place to yourself.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 08 07 03:01
to be able to leave on good terms is such a big deal for me. i realise that however much we all fight and dont want to be around each other, my familys my family and theyre always going to be! thats why, you'll all be happy to hear, im stayin for atleast another year. im still in highschool and i dont want to finish my education with just a highschool diploma, i want to have a career i love and a student loan ill be able to pay off!! i dont want to be another highschool dropout, or a story for my parents to tell of how their daughter ran away from home. no matter how hard it is for me at home, im sticking it out. i have alot of friends that care about me and that will help me through everything, i know that for a fact. thanks to everyone for hearing me out! i appreciate every comment posted:)
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lise on Apr 08 07 03:10
Good for you for sticking it out. It's only one year and that year will go by very quickly. Concentrate on your studies and you will do well. Just think of the reward you will reap by the end of your highschool year.

  Good luck and best wishes again.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 08 07 03:30
it is only one year:) i go to school, have job and play ice hockey, and will continue playing through the summer so hopefully time will pass quickly. thanks lise!
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Future Roomie? on Apr 08 07 11:24
(http://www.zonereality.tv/src/shows/morbidly_obese.jpg)

  Meet?  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 08 07 11:33
Glad to hear of your decision vancity.  I think someone who has the ability to ask for advice.....weigh it carefully and move from there, will always do OK.   Sounds like you've got good sense on your side, so you don't need luck......so I'll just wish you well.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: i wish on Apr 09 07 01:57
i believe that you are making the right decision by waiting a year.  i went through depression when i moved out at 24 yo.  and that has partly crippled future attempts to move out.  it wasn't that i couldn't afford living on my own.  it was the mental clash with my parents.  it would be safer to wait til graduation.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 09 07 08:08
[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ9_3Xg-uxc"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ9_3Xg-uxc[/a]  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on Apr 09 07 11:34
Is there a sequel to that Lil Me?  I'm on the edge of my seat ! [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]

  Perhaps I'll watch it again in the morning.  Sometimes these heavy plots can elude me when I'm tired.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Lil Me on Apr 10 07 07:58
I know it's a lame homemade documentary about some guy's moving story...but I wanted to find something with the song Moving Out because I hum it every time I open this thread!!!!  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: pitbullca.bc on Apr 10 07 08:23
moving out can be such an easy answer as a teen.  Not alot of understanding to the trials and tribulations of life.  You leave home..where you are protected..and fed...and housed.  You move in with someone...or by yourself and you are on your own.  You fall down...no one but yourself is there to pick you up.  Life is what you make it.  I agree to not even considering to move into this guys place.  He doesn't even have the strength to part ways with an abusive relationship...so...I feel that he would be unreliable.  As well..it would be unsafe due to the crazy x.  Pretty girl like you would be a sitting duck.  Adults have lived life..and learned.  Whether they have learned the right or the wrong way...it is harder for a young person to comprehend that.  Moving out at such a young age...creates some really hard knocks.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 10 07 06:34
pitbull, moving out isnt an "easy answer" for me. if it were easy i wouldnt have asked strangers opinions, and i wouldve been long gone. there isnt one person that could make me believe that what i have going on at home goes on in every home.
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 10 07 06:39
PS: he is done w/ his ex for good this time. i had heard rumours but talked to him yesterday and he just asked me what i was talking about: he hasnt seen her in 3 weeks.(when they last broke up) yay
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: pitbullca.bc on Apr 10 07 08:40
sorry van...think you misunderstood me.  I think you took me as a negative.  I am not though.  If the living situation is right...then all the power to you.  I couldn't wait to move out...moved out though...just before my 19th birthday.  It is a tough world though when you are on your own.  We are more serious here in DS..and try to give honest advice.  Oh well...f.uck it then.  Good luck with your dillema
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on Apr 15 07 11:03
sorry pitbull. i guess the subject jus hits home then for you. i got a little defensive on my part. i appreciate your comments and again, sorry!
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: pitbullca.bc on Apr 16 07 06:37
it is all good
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on May 02 07 09:58
update:  (for anyone that cares)

  stuff at homes been pretty crappy however ill deal with it. i try to spend as much time at work as i possibly can (i mean i might aswell make some money if im going to be out of the house all the time right?? haha) the guy i was considering moving in with is absolutely crazy, he's back with his ex...again; for about the bizillionth time, yet he continues to ask me to move in?? imagine something horrible happened at my home and he was the only person i could turn to (atleast first person on such short notice) his lady-friend would literally bat me over the back of the head with something really heavy. he seemed really bothered by something at work today, but still wont admit theyre back together (its a long story about why he wont) i keep thinking about next year, and how i will actually do this (move out) and this guy is definitly not for me. there is another 2 guys at work that said they were looking to leave home soon, this time ones my age and another one year older. they said itd be nice to leave for summer but that seems a little un realistic and i told them next spring break.

  question: about this whole girlfriend thing my guys continuously going through...do you think he just needs someone to pay half his rent (he pays way too much for the amount he makes each month) or does it seem to you like he really likes this girl?? i know its hard to judge the situation without knowing either person - he has been looking for a roommate and was broken up with her while he had one, that didnt work out and almost as soon as his friend was out of his house he was back with her again. it seems to me he just needs a roommate.  what a bastard     haha
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: P.C. on May 02 07 10:35
Sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on things vancity.

  I'm thinking he's looking for someone to share the things he doesn't want to do alone.  Be it cooking, cleaning or whatever.....if you get my drift.  

  I don't think anyone is ready for anything until they've learned to be self sufficient.  Doesn't sound like he is.  If a person is always looking for someone to fill in the gaps, they're always going to run into difficulties IMHO.  If a person can't learn to enjoy their own company, they're not ready to share anything.

  Listen to your gut.  You've got good instincts.  The only time we ever screw up, is when we don't listen to the voice inside us.... the one we're always trying to shut up. That's usually the voice of reason.....lol    
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: Sportsdude on May 02 07 10:49
hmmmm not shocked about the guy.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: i guess on May 03 07 08:17
story of one of my employees:

  wife keeps leaving her husband.  her husband is on drugs and doesn't work.  he just babysits and goes out with the kids at night.  she's always breaking up and going back to him.  everyone at work is wondering why she keeps on going back to him.  she could use gov't sponsored child care but prefers to have husband take care of kids.  had to call cops because he didn't want to return kids.  she sometimes cries, yells at work.  we fired her.  and then my father gave her her job back.  i don't want to tell you what she said yesterday.

  point is that she really doesn't want to leave him or admit that.  
Title: Re: moving out
Post by: vancityang3l on May 04 07 04:40
sorry to hear that guess. i hate hearing stuff like that about people you care (or atleast somewhat care) about. the whole situations just wierd for me. we've talked about her so many times. and last time he "finally ended" it, it really seemed like it was for good. all her stuff was gone (cause in the past her stuff never left his place). he has CRIED to me before, and when her stuff was all gone we had one final conversation about how he never wants to be in a relationship like that again, in his life. o well that lasted a good month or so.

  and about the living situation...i know i do have to listen to my first thought (it not being a good idea) just in the back of my head theres a tiny feeling of security i think i would have with him? or as much "security" as i could have at my age. he's a little older...he's got his life -somewhat- figured out, i guess i mean bills and that stuff. he's got his full liscence. ha..and he's got a visa if anything ever came up and i needed help. but his personel problems far outweigh the good so...its not happening. not going to lie though, theres a part of me that wants to live with him. it wont happen though!! i promise! i have however found a 2 bdrm apartment 2 blocks from work and right in the middle between my school and my potential roommates. i have a car, he has his liscence (i only have my learners - full at the end of the summer) $825/mnth  incl. utilities. between 3 people it could be done?? maybe?