Discover Seattle!

General Category => Discover Seattle! => Topic started by: kits on Feb 15 06 03:13

Title: kits needs some help!
Post by: kits on Feb 15 06 03:13
I posted this on DV too, but I do know that there is a lot of Vancouverites out here on DS.

[TABLE id=Table2 style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: midnightblue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=10 width="100%" border=0][TBODY][TR bgColor=gainsboro][TD style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold" vAlign=top align=left]kits [/TD][TD colSpan=2][img title="" height=15 alt="" hspace=3 src="http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/icon_posticon.gif" width=15 border=0] [FONT size=1]Posted - 2/15/2006 3:13:16 PM[/FONT] [HR noShade SIZE=1]Ok, I have a friend who has been in our group of buddies for about 6 years.  He is always getting hilself into fights and has always had a pretty short fuse, but nothing to major to really send out alarms.  recently (past 3 months) he has actually picked a few fights while out with co-workers, ending up beating his opponent to a bloody mass....  going way to far these days.  (Keeping in mind, we are a group of young professionals, not a bunch of hoodlums)
All this info aside that I have on him....  
this last weekend, he was caught pushing his girlfriend around.  She is also a friend of mine, and i have talked to her since.  This is the first time that this has ever happend (and I believe her)...  he has now come to her to ask obout help.

So my question is this:

Does anyone out here have experience dealing with local counselors, or therapists?  Anyone they can recomend?

This guys problems are far beyond something that I can responsiblly help with, but he is genuinely looking for help.

Any ideas would be great. [/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: kevlar on Feb 15 06 03:34
Hey Kits,[/DIV]I had the same problem, minus the girlfreind that I know of. Co-worker, friend, had short man complex. Ex Navy, ex boxer guy who was a real hot head. We had to kick him off our baseball and volleyball team and stopped hanging around him altogether, all this after about 10 years. Just couldn't deal with him anymore. I actually got into 2 physical fights with him and thats totally not my style. I know that he's in councelling and actually has a guy that is his sponsor that he can call at anytime when he feels aggressive. If you want, I'll try to get a number from him.. You can get my email addy from the Pure one.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: purelife on Feb 15 06 03:36
You can get my email addy from the Pure one.

You guys can also PM each other.  ;) Sorry kits.  I wish that I could help.  I'm sure that there are support groups out there.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Legion on Feb 15 06 03:47
Why you dirty cross-posting mofo ;)
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: kevlar on Feb 15 06 03:49
Thanks purelife. I didn't even realize this forum had that feature.. [img alt=worship.gif src="http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/cute_smileys/worship.gif" border=0]very cool.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Legion on Feb 15 06 03:54
I PMed someone awhile back but I think it got lost in the system.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: kits on Feb 15 06 03:55
thanks kevlar.

I will look into it tomorrow.. I have to run now though.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Legion on Feb 15 06 04:01
The important thing is not to panic.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: tenkani on Feb 15 06 04:31
I have no advice to give, but good luck to you and your friend.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Tor Johnston on Feb 15 06 07:12
When a guy starts pushing his girl around, he is in need of some angermanagement skills. Otherwise the situation tends to escalate, and itlooks like your friend wants to stop it before it progresses.
The City of Van should have some social programs set up and if yourfriend isn't worried about being stigmatized by attending a fewseminars or one-on-ones, he will be able to learn to identify thetriggers.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Brent on Feb 15 06 07:46
I don't think guys fighting guys is a big deal, we've all known the type growing up. But, when a guy hurts ladies/weaker people on purpose then it's an emerging trait. Hope the guy can learn to control it with sedatives,counselling.  The girl should only give him one chance!  Good luck helping out, Kits.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Tor Johnston on Feb 15 06 08:06
One chance only. I actually heard a woman say her husband only hit her"when she deserved it", and that wasn't a line from a film. I got fromthat if a woman allows it, the guy is empowered to repeat it.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: P.C. on Feb 15 06 09:59
Good perspective....that's EXACTLY the way it is.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: Sportsdude on Feb 15 06 10:04
Number 1 Rule in Relationships [/DIV]NEVER HIT YOUR PARTNER.Period.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: P.C. on Feb 15 06 10:27
Well put sportsdude.....it's not OK from either side.
Title: Re: kits needs some help!
Post by: kits on Feb 16 06 12:34
thanks for everyones opinion on what is ok, and what is not.

fact of the matter is, those things were never in dispute!

I dont need our opinion,,,, I need real help... kits