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Author Topic: Whisht To A Leprechaun  (Read 986 times)

Gopher

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Whisht To A Leprechaun
« on: Mar 17 07 11:16 »
"Mother of God! - three months gone, if she's a day - and flaunting it for the whole world to see. May the Holy Mother weep at her shame and the Lord forgive her. And her the daughter of a good Oirish woman who's never missed communion in her life. To be sure, her grandmother'll be turning in her grave - even though she's cremated and scattered on the mountains of Mourne by the fingers of her late husband.

  "Three priests in the family, and all on her father's side - and won't have confessed her sin to one of them - not even to that nice Father O'Connor with the red hair who's just taken over from Father Murphy who wouldn't say whisht to a leprechaun that was dancing on his pillow (and may all the saints in heaven show their backs to me prayers if he's guilty as found - even though Oi should wear out me knees in holy supplication at the throne of the Blessed Virgin, like that poor Kathleen O'Shaughnessy and her seventeen children by the same man).

  "And she'll be the same. Started early. Though it won't me the same man, the harlot. - And there's her poor mother who hasn't got even as much as a ha'penny to send her to that place in the country which Pat and Oi were so grateful for when our Josephione and Siobhan made us grandparents only three days after they staggered through the doors. And a holy miracle it was too, neither of them as much as breathed on by a man, and now they're Sisters of the Immaculate Conception alongside the three of Bridget Mulrooney who were also untouched and praised for the lowliness of their exalted ways - and we've the blessing of our Sean and our Michael to show for it

  "And there she sits, brazen as the day is long, and sure the day isn't long enough even though it's midsummer and doesn't go dark till ten o'clock, - flaunting the shame she doesn't have and glorying in her sin. And won't care who examines her either - with or without the faith. Not that she's ever had any, even though Geraldine and Seamus brought her up to walk in the ways of St. Ursula herself.

  "And the doctor'll say nothing, they never do - not so much as a 'go and sin no more', just tell her to be more careful in future and how she can double her sin, aye and as many times as a man winks his eye at her, by sacrificing her immortal soul on the altar of that wicked contraception as if she had no natural rhythm of her own.

  "And there she sits like a holy innocent, reading one of those cheap magazines for young hussies. Wish Oi could see what she's reading about - even though Oi'd rather not know. And sure as Oi'm keeping me eyes on her, it'll either be the problem page or an article by one of those London trollops who are always telling everyone how to inflame the lust of a man by painting your face the colours of a banshee.

  "And Oi only thank God that our Josephine and Siobhan were never tempted by such unspeakable things that would make the very angels blush and tears fall from the statue of the Blessed Virgin whose crown acts as a magnet for dust that falls from the ceiling when the organ's playing in the corner just to the left of the confessional at St. Jude's with everlasting flowers at its feet. The doctor couldn't explain it at all, but Father Murphy was understanding itself - even recommended that nice place to me and Pat as if he knew the address by heart, and told us how blessed we were to be chosen to have two good Catholic daughters who'd never so much as been breathed on by a man.

  "Always asks about them too, and takes it on himself as a duty to visit them sometimes - not regularly of course, just when he takes it into his head to go to the convent and ask Mother Chastity (who never allows the visiting priest to have intercourse with the Sisters unless she joins in) if all's well with then unsullied brides of Christ. Takes quite an interest in them he does, but that's Father Murphy all over. Talks to our Michael and Sean as if they were his own sons - even though he wouldn't say whisht to a leprechaun that was dancing on his pillow."

  - Gopher
A fool's paradise is better than none.

 

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