NFL Lockout: Can You Help?

Started by TehBorken, Jul 13 11 02:01

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TehBorken

 [div class="moz-text-html" lang="x-western"][font class="Apple-style-span" face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="3"][span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"][font class="Apple-style-span" face="Calibri,sans-serif" size="4"][span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"]
[/span][/font][/span][/font][/div][span id="OLK_SRC_BODY_SECTION"][div][div][div style="font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10pt"][div style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"][div style="FONT-FAMILY: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"]Can You Help?

Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before
in our generation.  We have banded together to overcome adversity.  We
have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas,
corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price
plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a
myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now,
we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

Hundreds of professional football players in our very own nation are
going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary
level.  And as if that weren't bad enough, they could be deprived of
their life-giving pay for  several months, possibly longer, as a result
of the upcoming lockout situation.

But you can help!

For only $27,080 a month, about $902.75 a day (that's less than the cost
of a large screen TV) you can help an NFL player remain economically
viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the
problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary; but it's a
start, and every little bit will help!

Although $900 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a
football player it could mean the difference between spending the
lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise.  For you, $900
is nothing more than a month's rent, a mortgage payment, or a month of
medical insurance; but to a football player, $900 will partially replace
his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $900 a day will enable a player to buy that
home entertainment center, trade in the  year-old Lexus for a new
Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio .

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor.  Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus,
upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of
the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the
Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150).  Put
the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants
to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator
in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen  expenses.

Remember: A lifestyle is a horrible thing to waste...

------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked out NFL player. My preference is (check
below):

[  ] Offense  [  ] Defense  [  ] Special Teams  [  ] Entire team

Please charge the account listed below $902.75 per day for the duration
of the lockout and send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger
Goodell (NFL Commissioner) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80
for the hat).

Your Name: ____________________Telephone Number: ___________________

[  ] MasterCard  [  ] Visa  [  ] American Express  [  ] Other

Account Number: __________________Exp. Date:_______  Security
Code:_________

Signature: _____________________________________________

Alternate card (if your primary card exceeds its credit limit):

[  ] MasterCard  [  ] Visa  [  ] American Express  [  ] Other

Account Number: __________________Exp. Date:_______ Security
Code:_________

Signature: _____________________________________________

[/div][/div][/div][/div][/div][/span]      
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Gopher

Thanks TB, I have copied out the above and sent it off, complete with  all the money required and , of course, my bank details..  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

TehBorken

Bless you Gopher. Surely a place on the 50-yard line in Heaven awaits you.

Gopher wrote:
Thanks TB, I have copied out the above and sent it off, complete with  all the money required and , of course, my bank details..

 
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

DDD

I would but the x just got all and more than what I have........nothing like having to borrow to pay her off

  but it is going to be done soon thank god 4 f*cking years

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God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Natasha

You should have stayed married to her D  ;)

DDD

Natasha wrote:
 You should have stayed married to her D  ;)[/DIV]
 I do not even know what to say to that
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Natasha

lol ..well it would have been cheaper. Next time, play the "open marriage" card.

TehBorken

 DDD wrote:
[div style="font-style: italic;"]I would but the x just got all and more than what I have........nothing like having to borrow to pay her off[/div]
I kept everything. I kept my home, my car, and most importantly, I got custody of my son. It's been 15 years now, and my son is 17 and soon to be a senior in high school. He's doing very well and has turned out to be a genuinely decent young man.

My ex is still f*cked up and bitter about it, and is even more deranged than she was when we divorced. She has some genuine mental problems that her court-ordered therapy (!!) didn't fix. Didn't help one bit.

Oh, the stories I could tell you....but honestly, you wouldn't believe them. Hell, [span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"]*I*[/span] wouldn't believe them if I hadn't lived them.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

DDD

TehBorken wrote:
DDD wrote:
 [DIV style="FONT-STYLE: italic"]I would but the x just got all and more than what I have........nothing like having to borrow to pay her off[/DIV][SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic"][/SPAN]
I kept everything. I kept my home, my car, and most importantly, I got custody of my son. It's been 15 years now, and my son is 17 and soon to be a senior in high school. He's doing very well and has turned out to be a genuinely decent young man.

My ex is still f*cked up and bitter about it, and is even [SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic"]more [/SPAN]deranged than she was when we divorced. She has some genuine mental problems that her court-ordered therapy (!!) didn't fix. Didn't help one bit.

Oh, the stories I could tell you....but honestly, you wouldn't believe them. Hell, [SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]*I*[/SPAN] wouldn't believe them if I hadn't lived them.
[/DIV]
 There is NOTHING I would not believe as the older I get the more you see/hear of stuff that you say WTF
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!