Midlife Crisis Advice

[Van]

Russ, this forum can only let me bless you once an hour!!

    I am not sure Lil Me? Guess like anything, you have to experience it.  

[P.C.]

  Early 40's is a reasonable age to consider a crisis...a mid-life crisis.

  This is my explanation for mid-life crisis.  It's the age that we have accumulated enough wisdom, to put an end to things we have tolerated for too many years.....upon the realization that life is too short.  The same wisdom lets us really look at our lives and what it going on around it and the people that are in it, with a clearer awareness.  It's the age that the ideals you had at 20 have shifted.  I think of it as more of an awakening than a crisis.    

[Michel]

     

[P.C.]

That's why I prefer to think of it as an awakening....not a crisis.  It often brings with it, chaos and change.....but once the dust has settled, it usually results in a surer step in the right direction.

[Sportsdude]

P.C. what you explained as a mid life crisis can happen at any age, not just when someone turns 40.

 

[P.C.]

Possibly.  But then again, you might interpret what I'm saying differently at 40, than you do today.  You have no way of knowing that yet. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c020.gif" border=0]

[Michel]

   

[P.C.]

Well some people awake gradually at 20, some never, some constantly. There are no such thing as a midlife crisis. It would have to be biologically related. The only age related crisis I can see is some women getting concerns because they get wrinkle or fat, and some male running after younger chick with no wrinkle nor fat. Since not everybody is like that everywhere in the world, there are no mid life crisis.  

  Life is an awakening.  There is no gage or age as to when or to what we awaken.  I'm suggesting, that by 40, we are waist deep in the lives we have set up for ourselves based on our ideals at 20.  At 40....we assess whether we are still on our chosen life path.  Many are.....more are not.  So this is the time we make changes.   The effect of that often creates crisis and chaos.

[Sportsdude]

   P.C. wrote:
That's why I prefer to think of it as an awakening....not a crisis.  It often brings with it, chaos and change.....but once the dust has settled, it usually results in a surer step in the right direction.


By this definition I've had a 'mid life crisis' at

14-15,18-20, summer of 22.


saying you have a crisis at 40 only is a joke. There are many people on this board whose toughest 'crisis' years were late teens early 20s. Mid Life crisis is a joke and people who think they're going through one is rather silly.

I think its more appropriate to call it 'years you realize you are going to die'.  The first one usually happens in the early 20's, then when you hit 40 you get that 'over the hill' label. Then 60 it becomes 'the finish line is approaching' and then 80 its 'I've reached the end, death is real to me'.

Then 30 is 'ugh why didn't I do this or that in my 20s, I don't like where I am' etc.

I live in a multi-generational house. Each of these outlooks I've seen from the 6 people living in it.





   

[Michel]

       
 

[Russ]

SD.. what PC is trying to get at (to me anyhow), is that MOST people tend to have major life changes, ie a mid life crisis, when they are close to their 40's. IF they have a mid life crisis at all. Mid life crisis IMO is when you realize you are getting older, your life seems half over, and you havent done many of the things you wanted to when you were younger cause you were concentrating on life. Thats why you see people buying muscle or performance cars when they are in their forties that they wished they had before.. Or buy a motorcycle.. or quit their job and do something completely different when it seems nuts to leave a job that they have worked their whole life for.

  But not everyone has a mid life crisis.. or would call it that. And not everyone has to 'conform' to what a midlife crisis is.. its not black and white.  

[P.C.]

First we would have to define what 'crisis' is.  At 14 -15, 18 -   20.....crisis is defined differently.  Drama and life crisis are quite different.  The reason it is labeled a crisis in mid life, is because the time to change is often weighed down with much baggage and the realization that the time left to shift one's whole life is dramatically shortened.  It doesn't necessarily define the degree of crisis....it's just minus the luxury of time to make the changes.

  Not sure how you can conclude what you may face, or how you will feel at 40 when you are 20.  It is absolutely, undeniably impossible.  

[P.C.]

Much better interpretation Russ.   [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c014.gif" border=0]

[Sportsdude]

lol. P.C. and Russ you are basically backing up my interpretation of a "mid life crisis" its all about death, has nothing to do with life or career or whatever.
 
 Russ talks about people in their 60s buying muscle cars. Duh, they didn't do that in their younger days and as they're nearing the end of their life, they want to have fun and feel young again, go out with a bang if you will.
 
 P.C. you sound like you're pulling an ageism card, saying that what happened in your teens couldn't possibly be as hard as a 'mid life crisis' in your 40s. I'm sorry, but that's total bs. Go to a war torn country and talk to kids or go to a Jewish Retirement Centre and talk to Holocaust survivors, talk to teen rape victims, teenage mothers, kids who dealt with drug issues in their teens and so on.
 
 'mid life crisis' is made up and if anything its only through career choices and it is not struggled based which are real issues.

 But 'career choices' are not limited to the 40 to 50 crowd. It can happen at any age.
 I can't watch college football for example, especially when Mizzou is playing. My brain immediately goes "SD that could have been you and it probably would have been if..."

 Now, that is exactly whatever this silly idea of a 'mid life crisis is', it's looking back at something you could have done, but decided not to pursue. Everyone has that in their life and just because you have those thoughts at 40 or 50, the same thoughts you had at 35,30,25,20 etc. doesn't mean you get to own the ownership of the word 'mid life crisis'.
 
 It is a silly idea to suggest that "what if...." 's  in your life, which you have everyday if you ever reminisce about life (which we all do) then all of a sudden when you reach a certain age become a 'mid life crisis'.
 
 it's a petty idea considering if you're having a 'mid life' you're probably saying 'what if...' then forgetting what you actually have in front of you. (you probably have kids, a partner in life, or maybe no kids or partner but a cat and travelled the entire world). Be comfortable with your own life and what's around you and quit dwelling on the what if's. Just live for god sakes. Life doesn't stop for you, quit moping about stupid shit and get back to living.


   

[The Dean]

Pretty in depth^

  Guess school isn't that busy for you yet?