crazy games riddles and jokes funny pictures death psychic! mad trivia funny & odd! pregnancy test shape test win custody recipes

Author Topic: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples  (Read 35801 times)

TehBorken

  • Administrator
  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6038
  • Karma: +507/-15
    • View Profile
    • Discover Seattle!
Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« on: Jul 22 08 03:36 »
 I don't know how many of these I'll get to do, but I'll try and provide updates whenever I can, chronicling Sakha's life in the USA.
[hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"]
Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples

Episode 1:
Sakha has been adjusting well to the strange and mysterious ways of the tribe known as "AmeryKanz". She enjoys the ability to take a hot bath, night or day, as often as she wants. Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, lol. We are currently negotiating with the Northwest Utility District for a business rate on our water usage (you can get a discount on any water usage above 500 million gallons a month).

Sakha watches TV, but it's all incomprehensible to her- Jerry Springer and Judge Judy make her shake her head with wonderment at the amazingly stupid and pathetic lives of the people who live in the Most Powerful Country On Earth. The infidelity and regular "Who's The Daddy" episodes on shows like Maury make her laugh and yell: "How can she not know who father is? 12 different guy! 12! Why she sleep with SO MANY?? Unbelievable!"

We found several Asian markets like "Ranch 99" where Sakha can forage for edible food. Hamburgers and hotdogs, the staple foods of the AmeryKanz, seem to upset her stomach, as does anything with cheese. Since AmeryKanz put cheese on practically everything, this radically limits her menu options. Sometimes the AmeryKanz will actually put two or more kinds of cheese on their food! Oh the Strangeness of this New Land. One of the foods I personally found in the frozen section of the Ranch 99 market was called "Beef Pizzle". Whatever it is, it's long and kind of tubular. I am not making this up. I don't know what Beef Pizzle is, I don't want to know what Beef Pizzle is, and I was secretly relieved when Sakha didn't buy any.

Sakha will sip two or three times from a Corona beer and then declare she's "had tooooooo much, oh too much, too much!". Personally I like a gal that gets hammered on less than a Dixie cup of beer, lol. She also makes the cutest face when tasting Chanpagne, which she insists to be "awful, bad tastes, really bad".

We had a wedding party / reception the other day and it was a lot of fun- about 30 AmeryKanz people came to celebrate with us. We all ate and drank, and the host was a friend of mine who is a high-ranking member of the Seattle Police Department. He has a very, very cool undercover police car at his disposal and he gave Sakha a ride around the yard with the siren blaring and the lights flashing. When he pulled up to where we were all waiting, she got out of the car and everyone clapped- she had a look on her face that was priceless. Those AmeryKanz sure are weird.

   
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Sportsdude

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 20869
  • Karma: +1330/-77
  • Epic
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #1 on: Jul 22 08 04:13 »
HAHAHA

Those Maury episodes are CLASSIC.


 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Lise

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11229
  • Karma: +899/-24
  • Love conquers all. Virgil.
    • View Profile
    • Asian Recipe
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #2 on: Jul 23 08 04:50 »
Oh, ja.... AmeryKanz. I still don't understand the majority of them.

  Hey TB, any plans to bring her over to Canada for a visit?
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

TehBorken

  • Administrator
  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6038
  • Karma: +507/-15
    • View Profile
    • Discover Seattle!
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #3 on: Jul 23 08 05:41 »
  Lise wrote:
Oh, ja.... AmeryKanz. I still don't understand the majority of them. [img style="font-style: italic;" src="http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif[/img]

I hear ya. They all drive like they have brain tumors about to burst.

 

[/div] [div style="font-style: italic;"]Hey TB, any plans to bring her over to Canada for a visit?
We (she) can't set foot outside the US until she gets travel papers, maybe in 8 to 12 months. If she sets foot across the border for 5 seconds into Canada (for example), US Customs won't let her back in.
It's stupid, but we've been warned by our immigration attorney not to leave the country for any reason until she gets her travel documents. If she does, we'll spend 6 to 12 months fighting to get them to let her back in.

We go today to get her fingerprints and retinal scan done. I told Sakha they may also want to "cut off one of your fingers or maybe a toe for a tissue sample" and I think she might have believed me for about 5 seconds or so. lol
 
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Lise @ Work

  • Guest
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #4 on: Jul 23 08 06:17 »
TehBorken wrote:
  We (she) can't set foot outside the US until she gets travel papers, maybe in 8 to 12 months. If she sets foot across the border for 5 seconds into Canada (for example), US Customs won't let her back in.
It's stupid, but we've been warned by our immigration attorney not to leave the country for any reason until she gets her travel documents. If she does, we'll spend 6 to 12 months fighting to get them to let her back in.


 

 Well, I do hope that she gets the chance to come and visit our beautiful city soon. I think she'll feel right at home as we have quite a strong and supportive Vietnamese community.

 

We go today to get her fingerprints and retinal scan done. I told Sakha they may also want to "cut off one of your fingers or maybe a toe for a tissue sample" and I think she might have believed me for about 5 seconds or so. lol

 

 Wow! They require you to do a fingerpritn and a retinal scan? Whatever for? Please tell me it's optional to do this!

 Next thing they'll be asking is for a pee cup sample!
 


   


P.C.

  • Administrator
  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14496
  • Karma: +1542/-10
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #5 on: Jul 23 08 07:43 »
Good stuff TB.  It's interesting to see ourselves through the eyes of someone who is probably more in tune with what's important in life.  How our daily 'necessities' are really luxuries....but we've all forgotten that.  I think a reminder of how much we take for granted is a good thing.

  More please.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lil Me

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9357
  • Karma: +708/-15
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #6 on: Jul 23 08 08:34 »
Thanks for posting, TB!  Great reading, as usual.
 
 Does your wife enjoy using the home appliances that we take for granted?
   
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

Gopher

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13288
  • Karma: +3113/-5
    • View Profile
    • The World In Action
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #7 on: Jul 23 08 10:36 »
Yes, more of this please - it's really interesting; and many thanks to Sakha for making it possible.  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

TehBorken

  • Administrator
  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6038
  • Karma: +507/-15
    • View Profile
    • Discover Seattle!
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #8 on: Jul 24 08 06:54 »
 Lise @ Work wrote:
Well, I do hope that she gets the chance to come and visit our beautiful city soon. I think she'll feel right at home as we have quite a strong and supportive Vietnamese community. As soon as we're allowed to leave the country we'll take some day trips to Canada for sure.

[em style="font-style: italic;"][/em][/p] [p style="font-style: italic;"]Wow! They require you to do a fingerpritn and a retinal scan? Whatever for? Please tell me it's optional to do this![/p]No, it's mandatory. And the people at the big, new, expensive DHS building are as rude as they come. I swear they send them to Rudeness School before they're allowed to work.
[/p]
[/p]
 
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

TehBorken

  • Administrator
  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6038
  • Karma: +507/-15
    • View Profile
    • Discover Seattle!
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #9 on: Jul 24 08 07:00 »
 Lil Me wrote:
Thanks for posting, TB!  Great reading, as usual.
Does your wife enjoy using the home appliances that we take for granted?

She won't use the dishwasher and prefers to wash all the dishes by hand. But I'm working on that, lol.

She thinks the vacuum cleaner is pretty cool. Almost no one has rugs in Cambodia, nearly all the floors are tile or wood, so the whole need for a vacuum cleaner was new to her. I don't think she'd ever seen one before (no need to, really).

Food: Everything we eat seems to contain liberal amounts of chilies or suribacha (hot) sauce. Everything. I haven't caught her putting it on ice cream but she might do it when I'm not around. lol

 
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

49er

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2234
  • Karma: +290/-3
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #10 on: Jul 24 08 05:24 »
I bet she will love a bowl of pho, if you haven't already taken her for one in Seattle

Lise

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11229
  • Karma: +899/-24
  • Love conquers all. Virgil.
    • View Profile
    • Asian Recipe
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #11 on: Jul 24 08 07:20 »
Oooh.... don't forget the spring rolls! Yummlicious!!
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Sportsdude

  • SuperHero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 20869
  • Karma: +1330/-77
  • Epic
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #12 on: Jul 24 08 07:24 »
uuuuuuuugh. :(((((((((
I miss actual food. 1 more month, 1 more month.
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Michel

  • Guest
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #13 on: Jul 24 08 07:45 »
   
 

49er

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2234
  • Karma: +290/-3
    • View Profile
Re: Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
« Reply #14 on: Jul 24 08 07:50 »
[img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/35/72263257_ce274283eb.jpg?v=0"]

  yess.....spring rolls too!

 

crazy games riddles and jokes funny pictures death psychic! mad trivia funny & odd! pregnancy test shape test win custody recipes