Wedding

[purelife]

Quick question:

  When you receive a wedding invitation for either Reception or the Party, and then choose not to attend, is it courtesy to buy a gift (at least $50) for the couple?

  I've been told that it is courtesy to do so.  What's your opinion?

[Gopher]

A courtesy, but definitelky not necessary. Why not send a gushing (and sincere) letter instead?

[Russ]

Hey babe..

  It IS common courtesy to do so if they have invited you, but theres many people now that do not. Like lots of people dont.. so its kinda so so.

  Im not much help am I?  

[purelife]

Thanks guys.  I was just curious. )

  How are you Russ?

[Gopher]

... and of course we'll shower you with gifts, not to mention money, when YOUR big day finally arrives, Purelife.  

[purelife]

 Awww..thanks Gophie...but I wouldn't expect anything, just attendance, if possible.

  I posted this because a friend asked me and so, wanted some opinions.[/DIV]

[purelife]

 duplicated post... huh?  [/DIV]

[P.C.]

I think it has always been considered good manners to send a gift if an invitation is received.  But to keep it simple......do you LIKE the person?  If so....send a gift or at least a nice card.  A gift doesn't have to be huge or expensive to be memorable and appreciated.    

[JJ]

I thinks it up to you, how do you feel.  I've been invited to big wedding of my cousins that I haven't attended nor send gifts. I know they really didn't expect me to attend.  But then I've sent gifts to small weddings that I wasn't invited but wanted to wish the young couple the best!  

[Lise]

My mother gave the kids of this long lost relatives about $200 in red packet money but they never invited her to the wedding banquet. The parents called her back to thank her profusely and I think they were very embarassed that they didn't invite my parents. When I heard that my mother gave them that much, I was mad as hell. I mean, c'mon!! Who gives $200 to distant relatives. Man....

  I always give out a token gift to the couple even if I decline going to their wedding or whatever. Like PC and JJ say, it's only good manners to do so and to wish the couple happy success in their new lives. Doesn't have to be much, it's the thought that counts.

[Lil Me]

Your mother is very generous, Lise.  I think that's lovely.  (no doubt the parents were embarassed....oooops!)  

[Lise]

She's got this mentality that it's the Chinese thing to do. I mean, WTH? My relatives don't even give me that much!

  Sheesh... I tell you, my parents have this thing where they believe it's Chinese custom to shell out as much as possible to show how rich you are. I just can't understand why!

[Lil Me]

Sometimes I think it's a Chinese custom to show off.  (go figure?)
 
 
   

[Lise]

Yeah. Bloody materialistic sometimes. My sister in HK has to show 'face' to her brother's side and his family. As in, buying expensive (name brand) clothes only or going to the best preppy preschools. It's so stupid and excessive, I can't understand it but she's doing it because everyone is competing with one another.

[purelife]

She lives in HK?  That explains it.  Generally, people living in HK are materialistic and love to "save face."