Funnies thread - all welcome (if ye are farny!)

[Sarah_Belly_Poo]

instead of me posting a billion threads of funny things I find and ending up with everyone hating me I thought I would start this. Post away funny ppl :-)

(I post things that makes things shoot out my nose when I see them)


 

[tenkani]

I must be crazy, because that just makes me want to cut myself.

[Isis]

*pulls switch blade out of back pocket...hands it to tenkani*

[tenkani]

*stares at knife and frowns*

I hate it when they call my bluffs    

[Isis]

Don't be silly...

*stabs tenkani with blade...blade bends in half*

see...it's rubber!!

I would never want to help anyone with hurting themselves!

[tenkani]

OMG I'M ALLERGIC TO RUBBER WTF HAVE YOU DOOOOONE!!!?

*dies*

[Devil]

Isis, we can finally be together in peace with that California dude out of the picture...*dances around dead tenkani's body laughing hysterically*......

[Ghost of Tenkani]

I knew it!!!

  Goodbye, cruel world,
Im leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,
Theres nothing you can say,
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

  *waiting to be beamed up*

*tapping ghostly foot*

[Devil]

Yeah, umm...guess what? Those gates are shut to you! Come with me my amigo...hence my handle name..

*grabs tenk by the ankle*

[Isis]

Oh shatters...what have I done?

       It's a good thing that have special powers....one kiss from these Goddess' lips and all rubber allergic reactions (death included) can be cured!!

  *bends down and plants a one of a kind Goddess kiss on tenkani's lips*

  Sorry Devil....looks like you still have to share.

  If it's any consolation...you are my one and only Canadian lover!

 

[tenkani]

Oh well.

If they don't want me up there I guess the Earth will do for now.

*rubbing ankle and shivering*

  Wait, Goddess, does this mean I owe you my life??

[Devil]

*laughs*...

Hey, I am a dirty Devil, not an evil Devil...I was just kidding about the whole bringing you to eternal burning and eyes gashed out by revelation demons tenk...

here, *passes ice tea to tenk* enjoy!

Although I don't like sharing Isis, it is worth it to keep our friendship.  

[tenkani]

*sniffs at tea suspiciously*

Is this a rubber-free beverage?

[Isis]

tenkani...such innocence....how little you understand.

  I am and always will be the all-mighty Goddess.  Everyone has forfeited their life to me...they just don't know it yet!  

  MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  

[tenkani]

Now I get it!

The gates were closed to me because I haven't finished my term of servitude to the Goddess yet!!

  *looking carefully at contract*

What does it mean by "until the seas dry up and the stars no longer shine in the sky"?    0_0