Cat humour

Started by Gopher, Jun 05 07 11:50

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Gopher

Anything humorous with cats in mind e.g.

  "A diamond-studded flea collar is a cat's best friend".
A fool's paradise is better than none.

kitten

Dogs drool, cats rule.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Gopher

Cats at the cinema: I hope there will be more to follow.

  Catablanca
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Sportsdude

 In the mind of animals when the owners talk to them:
Dog: Yes master, okay *sits*
Cat: I'm the master, who you kidding, I own the house!
   
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

kitten

Famous lover

  Catanova
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

kitten

Medicine for a cat...

  Cat-a-tonic
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Sportsdude

Lord of the Cats  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Gopher

Goldwhisker....and another Bond film: You Only Live Nine Times.
A fool's paradise is better than none.

kitten

Actually seen in a play review

  After the play the cats returned to take a bow.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Schadenfreude

[img id=img style="BORDER-RIGHT: black 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: black 1px solid; BORDER-LEFT: black 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: black 1px solid" alt="TinyPic image" src="http://i16.tinypic.com/5xdy8t3.gif" border=0].
"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day, then it was every other day.  Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky."

Lise

 [TABLE width=600 align=center border=0] [TBODY] [TR] [TD] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1][/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana]cat haiku[/FONT][FONT face="Times New Roman"] [/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You never feed me.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
That will sure show you.[/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You must scratch me there![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Yes, above my tail![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Behold, elevator butt.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]The rule for today:[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
New rule tomorrow.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]In deep sleep hear sound[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
cat vomit hairball somewhere[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
will find in morning.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Grace personified.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I leap into the window.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I meant to do that.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Blur of motion, then --[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
silence, me, a paper bag.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
What is so funny?[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]The mighty hunter[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Returns with gifts of plump birds --[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
your foot just squashed one.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You're always typing.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Well, let's see you ignore my[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
sitting on your hands.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]My small cardboard box.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
You cannot see me if I[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
can just hide my head.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Terrible battle.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I fought for hours. Come and see![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
What's a 'term paper?'[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Small brave carnivores[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Fear vacuum cleaner[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]I want to be close[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
to you. Can I fit my head[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
inside your armpit?[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Wanna go outside.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Let me back inside![/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Oh no! Big One[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
has been trapped by newspaper![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Cat to the rescue![/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Humans are so strange.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
My claws are not that sharp.[/FONT]

[/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]  

 [A href="http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/cathaiku.html"][FONT size=1]http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/cathaiku.html[/FONT][/A]

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Lazy Orik

Lise i laughed out loud upon reading that...

lol, only cause cat owners know it for the truth it is...

you a found a brilliant piece of poetry...
thank you for sharing it ...


 

kitten

That is a lovely poem!  Just purrfect.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Sportsdude

Great poem Lise!  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.