Life's Fortunes

Started by trefilov, Jun 05 07 05:10

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trefilov

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          So here I sit, at the precipice of a new life.  Just waiting for that magical e-mail to tell me when I can start my new $30,000 per year job. In the meantime, I'm just killing time in this town, reflecting on all the things that happened to me this past year.      Starting from my dramatic midnight move from my $800.00 a month apartment in June 2005. I had lost my job the previous December & my U.I. had just started, but  I was in financial ruin, to the point I was a month behind in my rent & had an eviction notice tacked to my front door. Hydro had cut the power to my suite the previous week. as I sat in my cold & darkened suite, I realized I could no longer live there. I had nothing to lose now, so I grabbed what little I could stuff into a cab & headed for the ferry to the Island, where I jumped aboard the last sailing of the night & found accomodations in a chintzy little motel in town.  It hadn't hit me yet, the enormity of what I was doing, that I was leaving my old life on the mainland behind & making a fresh start here. All that mattered to me that night was to escape. To get away.[/p]     About a week later I would find temporary accomodations in this Hostle, where I still was in a daze about what I had done. I came to this town, literally fresh off the boat.  I knew no one here & never felt so completely alone in all my life. U.I. & boredom can make a deadly mix & nowhere was this true, on one particular hot July night. I was walking around town, with no particular destination in mind, just out for a stroll, when I must have strolled into the "wrong side of the tracks" part of town. I was accosted by this "professional lady" & offered favors for a very modest price.  For some reason I accepted. I won't go into gruesome details, but during the encounter, I made a shocking discovery that this "she" was actually a "he"  I thought that was the lowest point of my life then & I've been desperately trying to put it out of my mind ever since.[/p] One night, as I was watching TV in the Hostle, a gentleman began talking to me. It turned out, that he was in a somewhat similar situation to me, having moved from out of town here. Well, it was through this gentleman I was introduced to John. John owned a shop in town & was thinking about purchasing a computer & going on line with his business. Problem was, he didn't know the first thing about them. Well, through our mutual friend, we ironed out a tentative deal to get his business up & running.  Unfortunately, I bit off more than I could chew & it quickly became evident I would be unable to help John in the manner he needed & despite his charitable gesture of putting me up for a month in the back of his store, free of rent  I had to move on. [/p]     It was now October, 2005 & I had finally found accomodations in the form of a rooming house. Without hesitation, I jumped at the room for $350.00 per month & moved in. Here, I would meet a whole cast of "charachters", each of whom was interesting in their own way.  The 2 apparent heads of the house were Doug & Dave.  These 2 were classic scammers & even conned ME into working a shift for them, in which I was SO out of my element I couldn't beleive I had let myself get talked into such a thing.[/p]      Eventually tho, Doug & Dave found greener pastures back on the mainland & moved out. This cleared the way for Douglas C. to become lord & master of the house. It was a this point, that my stay began to get troublesome.  Douglas C. is a classic alcoholic. It would become routine to come home on a Friday night & find him passed out in his Martin Crane-type chair in the living rooom around 9:00 pm. A lovely sight to come home to.[/p]     It was during this time also, that I had decided to re-join the working world & got myself a job at a call center in town, earning $9.00 p/h.  Well, the training paid that. The 1st day we were released out onto the floor, I realized it was not for me & quickly bolted.  Undeterred, I spent the next week dropping resume's like bombs, all over town. Eventually, I got a call back for one of them. A Security company, which was my field of expertise.  I went for an interview & was hired right on the spot. MAN I never felt as powerful as I did, that day I walked out of that office. I was on a real roll.[/p]     It should be noted however, that behind the scenes I had discontinued my anti-depressant medication back in August, because I couldn't afford it any longer. & because I weened myself off so gradually, & suffered no withdrawl effects, I had no Idea just how bad I was off. About a week into my new job, the boss called me in & told me I wasn't performing to his expectations so far. I took what he said hard, but decided to pick up the gauntlet & work even harder the next week. Well the next week came & went & my boss said he did notice I was working beter. Whew! big sigh of releif.  Looks like I'm gonna stay on then. Cut to the following Monday. I have a little vocal outbirst & my boss calls me into his office & told me I wasn't working out & just like that I had been let go. as I slinked home, I  REALLY began to feel depressed. My whole being suddenly just felt the weight of the entire world on my back. I was even entering words into my cellphone, which I kept as a personal diary at the time like: "failure, sadness, sadness & heavy, failure, suicide."  This told me something was very wrong.  & to make matters worse, when I told my landlord why I was home so early that day, he told me that he was serving me, & everybody in the house 60 days eviction notice, as he was selling the house. So in the span of about 4 hours, I had managed to lose my job & get served with an eviction notice.  I beleive there is a point where your brain just kind of shuts off to all that's hapening. A kind of overload protection when so many bad things happen to you at once,  your brain is incapable of processing it all, so it just goes on automatic & provides you with the most basic functions, like breathing & eating. A kind of "Safe Mode" if you will & I beleive that is what happened to me when I was served my eviction notice.[/p]     The following Sunday, was the pinnacle that something was wrong with me.  I had awoken in a strangley combative & agitated mood & I couldn't account for it.  I remember walking to the 7-11 for a coffee in the morning, encountering this man & his girl & having the uneasy senation that he was staring at me. Giving me some sort of testosterone stare down for the benefit of his girlfriend. I hated the feeling & this further contributed to my agitation.  Next came the bus incident.  As I was boarding the bus, the bus driver closed the doors on me & we ended up getting in an argument. I got off the bus a few stops later, with no real destination in mind, but I was in a mental ruin. I wanted to kill everybody. I knew I was in serious trouble.  I text messaged my old friend from the Hostle, whom was now driving a cab & he came by & picked me up & after a coffee with him I felt better. It wouldn't last.  As soon as he let me off at a bus stop, I got into an exchange with a lady there as well!  that was it.  I had to go home.  I rushed home & locked myself inside my room for the rest of the day. I was a danger to society & could go off at a moments notice & was for the 1st time in my entire life, as I really didn't know what I might be capable of doing. [/p]     The following Wedensday, (We're now in Jan 2006 btw)was the low point. Where the bottom fell out.  I went to the mall & went to duy a hot dog at the Orange Julius. When I swiped my bank card, I got that horrifying NSF on the bank machine. I KNEW I had at least a couple hundred dollars in there. I hurriedly made a panicked call to my bank, where the lady informed me, in her broken english accent, that because I had left town w/o notice, the bank had yanked my overdraft from me, leaving me with LITERALLY not a cent to my name. I hung up the phone in numed shock. I was now penniless. I had no collaterral & not a cent to my name. I couldn't beleive it. It's impossible to accurately relate the experience to someone, because it's just something you have to experience first hand, to appreciate. To suddenly have no money, not even enough to EAT. After the fog lifted, & I could at least stand up I began to realize what I was gonna have to do. I was gonna have to tuck my pride (like I had any left at this point) between my legs & plead my case to welfare for some sort of emergency funds.  I won't go on about the 3-ring circus they put me through, but ultimately I DID get help. I honestly don't know I survived, let alone find the strength to go through it, but it was a life altering experience for me & it changed me forever, not to mention pointed out to me that I'm stronger than I ever thought I was. Life had me on the mat for the 10 count & I managed to pick myself up for at least one more round.  I realize it was a handout, but nevertheless - when I got that $98.00 from the welfare office, my life was saved & I felt like I had just received a reprieve from the grave. That was the turning point. My life got better after that.[/p]      The following weekend, I returned to the mainland for my monthly visit with my folks, well my best friend from childhood had hunted me down & found out through my folks that I would be visiting them that weekend & offered me a job with his company.  I told him of my situation, to which he told me to send him my resume & we'll talk.[/p]     After I returned to my place on the Island & did send him my resume, he said he & his boss liked it & he told me to come back to his place, in the city Friday night & he would let me crash at his pad. He bought me dinner Friday night & when we awoke Saturday, he & his girlfriend wisked me away downtown for what I can only explain as a dream. You know those shows where they pick seemingly random people & give them a makeover?  Well, my friend & his gilfriend took me to all kinds of shops & specialty stores & $400.00 later, at HIS expense! I had been outfitted with a whole brand-new wardrobe, INCLUDING a nice suit for the interview with his boss, which was to take place the following Wedensday. I couldn't beleive that somebody would do something so nice for me. I'm a man, but I'm not ashamed to admit I was in tears. I had never received such kindness & my only hope for the rest of my life, is that I may someday be able to do the same for, if not him, then somebody else. It was a life altering experience.[/p]      Well I showed up there, at the heart of the financial district in the city at the office & there to meet me was my friend, telling me how sharp I looked in my new suit. I never felt so good. the suit WAS indeed empowering. It must have rubbed off on me too, because the interview went well. I felt an instant ease with my perspective new boss & as it stands now, am just waiting for the official word, which my friend tells me, should come at any day now. I kind of figured I'd already be working, but after all that's happened to me these past months, I can afford to wait a little longer.[/p]

ripper

Wow what a story. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.  

PostMonkee @(^_^)@

CENSORED FOR YOUR PLEASURE.  
Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes. Flee.

purelife

OMG, someone wrote more that Sportsdude!  IAMSHOCKED!    

Sportsdude

that is really really long.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

GORDY GAMBINO no 1

PostMonkee @(^_^)@ wrote:
 Just a hint, the introductory paragraph to a novel-length post should make the reader hungry to read more.

Yours made me want to defecate.

On your face.

Hope this helps.   It probably won't as Mr. the whole world is against me is definately a loser. Even if he went for a good slash up he would probably f'uck that up as well.

 Your response Postmonkee is definately what Mr im gonna bore the shit out of everyone needs.

 Having you shit on his face wont help his plight however he will always be a loser but it made me happy thinking about it. ROTFLMAO!

 If you continue such grand advice i suggest you be elected as a mod as the present ones just lack that substance that you possess!


 

trefilov

  [p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   03/21/2006                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                                                                                                                                            [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td width="30"][img]http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           The Email That Changed My Life                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"] I got it. I had been sitting at the computer all day, at the web cafe, monitoring my email, when it came.  Shortly after 2 pm, I got the email, telling me that I had been approved & I had been hired & to get my ass back to the mainland & just like that, my island exile was over.  I quickly called my friend, who stressed I get back over there quickly.  Without even stopping off to pick up my belongings, I called a cab & headed immediately  out to the ferry, as I was. No overnight bag - nothing.  I dropped everything & just left.  I had just missed the 3'oclock ferry & the next sailing wasn't till 5 o'clock.  I had never waited a longer 2 hours in my life!  The ferry couldn't arrive soon enough.  As I waited, I took a long, pensive walk around the terminal, in a daze. The enormity of my suddenly changed life hadn't hit me yet. I was just going on automatic. Just doing. Nothing else. [/p]    Finally, the ferry arrived & although the ship was crowded, it didn't affect me in the slightest. I was going home.  Ironic indeed, that the very city I had fled from, now was going to be my salvation.  In celebration, I pigged out in the cafeteria - & why not?  I now had money & more importantly - a future![/p]     After what seemed to be an eternity, the ferry finally docked & I ambled off, trailing well behind the throngs of passengers. I could afford to take my time. I was finally home.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

trefilov

[p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   03/22/2006                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                                                                                                                                            [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td width="30"][img]http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           The Day Before                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"]   After an understandibly restless sleep on my parents couch, I woke up & poured coffee for mom & dad & soon set out to begin looking for an apartment.  It was a rainy day, typical for this town at this time of year.  I took the bus downtown & decided I shouldn't start on an empty stomach, so I treated - more like abused myself to a breakfast at Rotten Ronnie's (McD's), after which, I went to the web cafe across the street, where I printed off my findings from apartmenthunter.com.  
     After various phone enquiries & knocking on doors, it became all too clear, that I wasn't going to find a place today.  Add to which, the constantly pouring rain made my task even more difficult.  I decided to check out the Y & see what they had.  On paper, they had a very nice brochure, complete with pictures, making the price of only about $650.00 for 1 month very appealing.  Well, when I got there, I was met by a very curt & abrupt manager, whom seemed intent in running more of a business, than an emergency shelter.  They insisted the money would have to be paid up front & despite my efforts to relate to them my sorrowful story of just starting a new job tomorrow & having no money till my 1st payday, they would hear none of it. They wanted the money up front. Period. End of sentence.   Well, feeling disgouraged at my failing here, I decided to give up for the day.  I called my friend, whom was just headed out to lunch & said he would come & pick me up.  I told him I would be waiting in a web cafe across the street.  It was there that I found out.
    Upon logging into the computer I was assigned, the homepage was set to MSN news & there was the headline: BC Ferry Sinks.  I did a doubletake & saw the picture to be the Queen Of  The North. No.  NO... NOT her!  Oh PLEASE let this be a joke.  But it wasn't.  The incident had only just happened about 10 hours previous, so details were still sketchy, but the bottom line was, a ship that I had many childhood fond memories of & a sentimental, nostalgic attachment to had gone down.  I couldn't beleive it. It just seemed so impossible, like the death of a loved one & I guess it was for me.  I have had very few people in my life I have been able to love, so I guess I transferred my love to the ferries. They never turned me down, or said no, or turned their noses up at me. They just gave me many years of happy cruises & wonderful times & to hear that a ship that I loved so dear was suddenly gone.  You know when someone you love passes away suddenly & you instantly think how you never spent enough time with them?  Or never told them how much they meant to you? That's kind of what I felt, a feeling that I had always taken it for granted that she would always be around. Let this be a lesson to anybody who may read this - if there is anybody in your life you never told how much you love, or you have any loose ends with, finnish it now!  You never know when they might be gone for good.  I immediately ran to the payphone across the street & called my folks & told them to tune into the news. It had just gone noon & so the news was just starting.  I guess they must have been in shock too, because I lost the connection with them, so I just hung up myself.  I still can't beleive she's gone. My mind recalling the Gordon Lightfoot epic: "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"  Ironically, it was around the time of my 1st trip on this ship that that song came out.  Indeed, a tragic irony.
     Despite this, I still had a job to do & more importantly lunch with my friends.  When my friend picked me up, I related the news & told him how distraught I was, but I put on my game face, because this was going to be after all, my co-worker & boss in a few hours.  We had lunch downtown on his tab, once again & after he let me off downtown, I thanked him & continued on my way. I had given up looking for a place on the day, especially in light of what I had heard had happened - I just coluldn't lend myself to it right now.  Instead I went home & commisserated with my folks. If I wasn't on such heavy Anti-depressants, I'm sure I would have broke down & cried I really felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. What a thing to have to contend with. It's enough that I gotta deal with the stress of starting a new career, in a new office tomorrow, but to have this added to my plate as well.  Tomorrow is gonna be interesting to say the least.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]  

kitten

Tomorrow is gonna be interesting to say the least

  To whom, may I ask?
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

PostMonkee @(^_^)@

If you continue such grand advice i suggest you be elected as a mod as the present ones just lack that substance that you possess!     [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"]This is not DV where the mods are almost universally despised. I think if you ask around you will find that nearly everyone here loves our mod to death, so when you slam her you aren't making any friends. It's an important distinction. At DV shitting on the mods is the national sport. Over here it just brands you as a griefer so unless you want to go the way of you know who and end up getting you know whated, take it easy on the DS staff.

 
Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes. Flee.

trefilov

                                                                                                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           First Day At New Job                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"] [/p]   5:30. Time to get up & not a moment too soon, after another night on this wretched couch. Well, this is it.  The 1st day at my new job. Of course, I am just sh****** myself in anxiety.  Who wouldn't be?  You're about to see just what you've gotten yourself into for the next 10-15 years (hopefully)  So, I put the coffee on & once again, serve it to my folks in bed. Oh, how I wish I were THEM today.  After slipping on my monkey suit, I amble outside & walk to the bus stop, where newblood joins the herd of no-doubt longtime bus stop acquaintences. I say a nervous hello to the gentleman who breaks the awkward ice with a greeting & soon I'm on the bus, headed downtown.  Avoiding the glances of the other passengers, I eventually arrive at my destination.  I make a last stopover at the food fair, before I make my intentional half an hour early debut.  The elevator door opens. This is it.  I take one last deep breath & ring the doorbell to the office.  **** opens the door, with a nice, friendly grin & tone & greets me cheerfully with: "Good morning!  You must be Alec. Come in!"  Instantly, her tone puts me at ease, or at least, makes me a little less nervous.  She guides me to my seat & allows me a few minites "to get settled in." How does anybody "get settled in" in the 1st few minutes of starting a new career, in a new place?  Anyway, **** was very personable & went a long way toward making me feel less nervous & regardless of whatever happens to me, I will always be greatful for the way she treated me.  Her's was my 1st impression of my new workplace & she made quite a favorable one.[/p]       As the morning wore on, I would be introduced to various members of the office staff, knowing full well there wasn't a hope in HELL of me remembering any of their names.  They all had an unfair advantage, they all just had to remeber (1) name, I have to remeber about 20. But, I would meet & greet them all, in my sheepish-new boy way.  Eventually lunch came around & I went down to the waterfront, where I was so nervouse about not taking too long a lunch break, I hardly enjoyed it. Of course, I came back from lunch, like 20 mins. early.  All to leave a favorable impression of the new guy's work ethic. [/p]       Finally, 4:30 rolled around & of course, I waited till nearly 5pm, when my friend came came up to me & told my 1st day was over & that it was a success. Whew!  So I got through it. I kind of suspected I'd survive the affair - still, when you have yet to go through the whole ordeal, it can be quite nerve-wracking BUT I survived it & it was time to go home.  After joining my friend for a smoke break & a review of the day & my 1st impressions, I was on the bus back home.  I arrived home in time to tell the folks I had survived the day & raided the fridge & fixe dmyself a quick dinner before bedding down at the shamefully early time of 8:00 pm. The day had taken alot out of me, but I survived.  

trefilov

[p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   03/24/2006                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                                                                                                                                            [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td width="30"][img]http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           Day 2                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"] Ok. I survived the 1st day. Time to see if I can survive a second.  I did the morning routine & gave the folks coffee & the paper in bed & headed off to work.  This time, my nerves considerably lesser frayed.  I got in around 7:30 AM again, always wanting to appear the eager beaver & would ultimately endure another day of close-by instruction.  One thing I will say, there are a few attractive women in my office.  It's gonna be hard not thinking "impure thoughts" about some of them, but I know I'll survive.  & to boot, it was Friday too & at the end of the day, my friend brought those of us, who would go over to a bar across the street & bought us drinks on the co. tab.  Ya know?  I think I just may like it here! [/p]    Again, wanting to appear proper & responsible, I ducked out after just 1 drink & **** offered me a ride home, as she happened to live on the same side of town that I was staying in.  As we rode, I got to know a little more about her & thus, making feel more at ease with my new co-worker.  She dropped me off & I thanked her for the ride & I ambled in & told the folks I had indeed, made it through another day.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]  

P.C.

Good job trefilov !
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Russ

good job trefilov..

  oh and by the way...

        goats.

    you will love the island and I wish you all the best
Mercy to the Guilty is Torture to the Victims

trefilov

 [p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   03/25/2006                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                                                                                                                                            [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td width="30"][img]http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           The 1st Weekend.                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"]   So, I survived my 1st couple of days at my new job. Although I didn't do THAT much work. I get the sense it was more to see whether-or-not I'd fit in with the rest of the office. I can only hope I did, as I did my best to put on my sunny-jim, smiling side, even thlogh I was nervous as hell. [/p]     But this was the weekend now & time to sit back & do nothing. I slept till about 9:00 AM & got the loveables their traditional coffee in bed & did a few chores to help earn my keep.  Sad really, a 37 year-old man, having to do chores to have the priviledge of sleeping on a cat-piss reeking couch at his parents place. But, you have to take the positives in cases like these I suppose & at least I DO have a roof over my head.[/p]      Loveable father dear was in a combative mood though & he wasted no time in asserting his authority as still ruler & master of the house by outlining various rules & procedures for me while I was staying under their roof, sigh.  As I had no money, I wasn't in a position, unfortunately to leave the house, so it ended up getting kinda crowded in there that Saturday. Nightfall couldn't come fast enough, but after a few naps, in an effort to eat away the day, night did finally come & so ended my 1st Saturday, back on the mainland.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

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