moving out

Started by vancityang3l, Apr 05 07 11:30

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tenkani

OMG.

I'm afraid to ask what the third B is for    
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

weird al

That's bed&bondage. There was a third B?

Oh yeah, breakfast!

P.C.

 [DIV style="OVERFLOW: auto; WIDTH: 100%"]     I think when somebody is determined to live on their own, the best advice is not about Yes or No, but about practical matters. Things like: "not knowing who he actualy is"

 THAT'S an excellent consideration weird al.  Sex or no sex isn't the biggest issue here.  

 Have you considered a background check?  How someone behaves at work only paints half the picture.

 
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

purelife

Yeah, you're right tenkani.  A girl would be the worst to ask about how a guy thinks.  You made lots of sense from your last post, tenkani.  

vancityang3l

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think it's necessary.

  no need to be sorry! i totally appreciate it! this is the reason i posted something like this. i knew asking a few friends wouldnt give me the feedback i was looking for.

  now another thing. money. i might as well bring it up! i obviously have only a PT job. i make $900-1000/month. rents $450, so is approx $400 enough? he said rent is really all id be paying for, but i obviously wouldnt make him buy all my food? is it really too little, or could i manage for little while?    
   
what hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been

tenkani

 That's bed&bondage. There was a third B?

Oh yeah, breakfast!

  You know, I was just saying the other day that DS needs an official dominatrix...[/DIV]
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

vancityang3l

backround check?? this guys not a criminal. he had a really tough upbringing too. we've talked about it many times. his past girlfriend actually beat him! he'd come to work w/ black eyes and bruised ribs since he would never hit her back (defend himself) so even though it hurt him, i see it as something positive: him getting hit and never retaliating. he has been to jail, just spent the night. one night they were having a loud fight and neighbours called the cops. he was taken in. released the next morning however, cause he honestly did not touch her when questioned later. hes told me all of this, and the same story to another mutual good friend of ours, and he clearly has nothing to hide. its happened and we all move on.  
what hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been

P.C.

Just some suggestions to make sure you've considered all things to be considered.

Good Luck Angel. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/k010.gif" border=0]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lise

First,  I gotta say to vancity. You're superhawt from your picture and mighty brave to put your image up.

 Secondly, 16 years old and thinking of moving out on your own is too early. I know, call me old-fashion but you're still too young. You've got a whole life ahead of you, why not just hang in there a few more years? Sometimes you crash heads with your parents but that's part of life.

 Third, looking at your salary, I don't know if you can get by with that much. There are other expenses that you need to consider and they change from month to month to month. Unexpected charges can occur and so many things can go wrong. It's better to live with your parents and start saving now. After graduation from school then think about moving out. At least you have some savings with you.

 Fourth, as for the living a boy situation.... it's a bit dicey there. When you start moving in with someone, things change. Your relationship will change. Even if it's a girl, it'll change. You'll start getting on each other's nerve, you'll start seeing each other in a different light. So expect the unexepected.

 If you're still gung-ho on moving out, then by all means, go ahead. There's nothing to stop you, you're sound like a fairly independent woman who knows what she wants and can get. I still think you're too young but if your set on leaving, then all the best of luck with you. I had a friend who left her place around your age and she's the most independent and strong-willed person I know. She still is and I'm in awe of her.

 Good luck and may the force be with you.

 
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Marik

OK vancityangel, I think 16 years old is too young to be moving out, but if your mind is made up, I can't change it.  

Some things I would be concerned about:

Make sure you have a backup person to live with (maybe a good friend who goes to your school?) if this doesn't work out. And the rent bill there - about $400, yes? Does that include hydro and all those other things? Or is the other guy paying it? What if this guy decides he wants you to pay for something he normally pays for one month? Your budget is pretty tight, so if you have $50 or whatever left over at the end of the month, don't spend it - save it just in case.

Are you going to be living somewhere close to where you attend school? A $40 concession fare / month for public transit adds to the expenses if you're not within walking distance.

I hope this guy you're planning on moving in with won't take advantage of you. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.


 

Queer Eye

[FONT color=#ff00ff]I think people are overreacting.  There are lots of men out there who would gladly help out this young girl.  Take our friend, Alan, for instance:[/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OZzp7HSKs"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OZzp7HSKs[/A][/FONT]

i wish

i'm wasn't going to say anything.  because i don't know him.  but i wonder who kind of person would tolerate beatings and how would he be now.  sounds like he has mental problems.  also, living with the opposite sex usually ends up having sex.  and he's gota wonder about that.  sounds good on his side.  for you your parents must be very protective about that.  i work with a 20 yo girl who's had lots of sexual relationships, so this would be a no brainer.  but for someone as young and i'm guessing innocent as you could become a problem.
"Blind respect for authority is the greatest enemy of the truth, " Albert Einstein.

P.C.

Good reminder QE.   It's so easy to overlook that these guys always appear to be so nice and so normal to their neighbours and co-workers.......at least that's what they all say on the news AFTER tragedy strikes.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

vancityang3l

so i have an update for everyone:

  i have heard his crazy girlfriend is back in the picture:( i saw him yesterday, he didnt mention anything except for grandma + a few friends coming over for easter. the two of them getting back together means shes living w/ him again, and i am not willing to lose sleep when then of them are fighting or when i baseball bat comes through my door. so my decisions been made up for me i guess. i probably should talk to him though...im honestly worried. i care alot about this guy (in a friendly way, dont go jumping to any conclusions there folks!)  
what hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been

Gopher

Another thing vancityanng, make sure you've got some back up and a second line of defence (i.e. a 'retreat') just in case things go wrong and you need to get out fast.    
A fool's paradise is better than none.

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