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Author Topic: Your "embarrassing" moments story  (Read 5034 times)

49er

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #30 on: Apr 01 07 09:15 »
many years ago, I pulled into a serve serve gas station to fill a rental car....I didn't know the gas cap was behind the rear license plate and had to ask other patrons after walking around the car several times looking.

Lil Me

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #31 on: Apr 01 07 09:16 »
gotta see this, then!
 [a href="http://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=104d3cb6cb0c39199e2f67938dc298dc&/topic,4605.0.html"]http://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php/topic,4605.0.html[/a]
   
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

kingy

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #32 on: Apr 01 07 09:56 »
Last week I had a bad day at the office.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office.  It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool.  So here's what we do to keep warm: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater.  This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful temp.  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.  Now this sounds like a damn good plan, doesn't it?  I've used it several times with no complaints.

When I get to the bottom and start working, what I do is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck and flood my whole suit with warm water.  It's like working in a Jacuzzi.  Everything was going well until my ass started to itch.  So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse.  Within a few seconds my itchy ass started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.  The hot-water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.  This is even worse than poison ivy under a cast.  I had put that hose down my back, but I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back.  My ass crack was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass.  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communications system.  His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and 5 other divers were laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.  I was instructed to make 3 hellish in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface for my chamber dry decompression.  I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet.  My suit and gear were tied to the bell.  When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to coat my ass when I got in the chamber.  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my a**hole was swollen shut.

We've since modified the equipment to filter out most sea creatures.

Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me.  Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to squash a jellyfish on your ass.  I hope you have no bad days at the office.  But if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.
   
...

P.C.

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #33 on: Apr 01 07 10:05 »
[FONT size=4]OMG[/FONT]....that is a hilarious story kingy.  That is without a doubt the best 'work story' ever.  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c040.gif" border=0]

  As you know I wear a suit....a wet suit.....under the sea ????

  What do you mean 'as you know'.  What DO you do kingy?  I'm intrigued.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #34 on: Apr 01 07 10:06 »
oh my so you work under water, cool. Didn't know that.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."


weird al

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #35 on: Apr 01 07 10:33 »
I have had so many embarrassing incidents, it's hard to pick the "most" embarrassing. But here's a contender.

  Me and a friend were smoking hash like there was no tomorrow (as usual) and playing chess (badly as usual). My buddy's gf said "ok, see you guys later, I'm takin' the dog for a walk."

  We nod, and go back to our game and our smoke. An hour later, the dog walks in, and I start to say "Hi, dog." But as I get the "Hi" out, the gf walks in, and I'm trying to think how to modify what is going to be the greeting "Hi dog" into something acceptable. I've got about a tenth of a second, and the alternative doesn't look too good "Hi dog, and (say Mary)". Hi dog, and Mary just isn't gonna cut it, so I end up saying "Hi dogs."

  And then nobody said anything. We never referred to it.

EED

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #36 on: Apr 01 07 10:40 »
your a loser

thats not even funny or interesting

weird al

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #37 on: Apr 01 07 10:44 »
EED wrote:
your a loser

thats not even funny or interesting


  EED, your first embarrassing moment was when you were born and the doctor slapped your mother's face.
 

pitbullca.bc

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #38 on: Apr 02 07 06:43 »
Kingy...that was a plagerized story...

P.C.

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #39 on: Apr 02 07 06:52 »
Oh Noooo.....Say it isn't true.

  kingy, I'm shocked.  I wondered why you thought we all knew you were a diver.

  lol....well it's a good story anyways.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

pitbullca.bc

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #40 on: Apr 02 07 07:00 »
LOL...received that clip via email...had to do something with...if you think your job sucks..

kingy

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #41 on: Apr 02 07 07:51 »
yea, i got that story in an email. i thought it was funny and relevant to this thread.

  ive never been diving in my life!!!
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pitbullca.bc

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #42 on: Apr 02 07 07:52 »
*highfive* for the attempt though LOL

Sportsdude

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #43 on: Apr 02 07 08:15 »
LOL
We've been had!
 
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pitbullca.bc

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Re: Your "embarrassing" moments story
« Reply #44 on: Apr 02 07 08:15 »
LOL...not meeeee!

 

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