Poetic Drivel

Started by Orik, Dec 04 06 12:24

Previous topic - Next topic
|

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Adam_Fulford

[span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica;"]Orik, this poem of yours sets off alarm bells, making one wonder if it is a suicide note sent to a public forum. A cry for help?

Apart from that, your writing is powerful. Strong use of images and metaphors. Shows a lot of promise.  I could see it as a short film.
[/span][font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"]

                     [/font]  
 

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Lise

Wow. You're brave to put your picture out there.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

Nice poem. I understood some of it.  

Lise

I understood nothing of the Orik.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

kingy

clearly that poem is the contant battle between right and wrong. it is very ironic when the poem introduces what happens or what is said and what we believe will happen which causes feelings of tension between the two conflicting ideas.
...

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

Wow..Atleast Kingy got it... Good job Kingy..  

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

Nice Poem...  

Orik

Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

P.C.

Well, although I don't think I understand it, you learn things wherever you go.  I had no idea, bone marrow was green.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

|