For You Single Guys Out There

[49er]

DANGEROUS FOOD

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.   Red meat is awful.  Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.  Chinese food is loaded with MSG.  High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.  But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.

Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,  "Wedding Cake."

[LOL]

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and in a booming voice said, "Do you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't" said the man.

"Don't you realize I could kill you with one word?" asked Satan

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope" said the old man.

More than a little puzzled, Satan asked the little old man, "So why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Heck, I been married to your sister for 48 years."