Messing with Planned Parenthood protesters

Started by TehBorken, Feb 22 13 03:56

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TehBorken

Enjoy... :)




I live near Seattle in a small town that has a Planned Parenthood clinic. Quite often when I go by it there are protesters out front with signs, protesting the presence of the clinic. I really detest these meddling a**holes, and I decided to mount a demoralization operation against them. I call it Operation Unintended Consequences, the reasons for which will become clear in a moment. :)

So anyway, today my son and I drove by, and there they were, a little group of moralistic f*cktards. We parked near them and I got out, made a show of counting how many of them there were (there were 6 of them today), and then I went into the Planned Parenthood clinic.

I asked the lady at the front desk if she would like to see the protesters go away, or failing that, if she'd like to see them go home demoralized and unhappy. She said she would. :)

So I took out an checkbook from an old, no longer valid bank account, and I wrote a bogus check for $6000.00. I tore up the check and told the front desk lady to wait until I left, and then go out and wave to the protesters and shout "Thank you!".

I left the clinic and and walked over to the protesters. I said hello, and then I launched into my story. Here's what I told them...

"I'm (fake name) and I noticed you out here. You know, I may not look like much, but the fact is, I'm pretty damn well off. To put it bluntly, I'm f*cking rich. I started a software company in the 1980's; we made a bit of software that ended up being bought by Yahoo for a little over a five and a half million dollars. After that I started two other software companies and they've also done quite well. (BIG GRIN) So even though I may live a simple life and don't dress fancy, the truth is that I have more money than I know what to do with."

"In short, I think what you're doing is wrong, so I just wrote a check to Planned Parenthood. I gave them a thousand dollars for each one of you out here." I opened my checkbook and let them get a good close look at the carbon copy part of the check for $6000.00, payable to "Planned Parenthood". They couldn't hide their shock at seeing the check, lol. A couple of them reacted like they'd been slapped. The consternation in the air was palpable (and delicious, lol).

But I wasn't done, oh no. I went on...

"So here's the deal- I come by here once or twice a week, and every time I see you a**holes out here I'm going to write Planned Parenthood a check, and it's gonna be a thousand bucks for each one of you that are here that day."

"If three of you idiots show up, they'll get three thousand bucks. If five of you are here, they'll get five thousand bucks. I'll probably cap it at ten grand per check, but honestly, I can do this every single week for the rest of my life if I want and it won't even put a dent in my bank account."

"In other words, the more you show up, the more money Planned Parenthood gets." I smiled, looking each of them in the eye.

The look on their faces was f*cking priceless.

I told them to "Have a nice day", and I got in my car and drove off.

I'm going to do this every time I see them. Let's see how long the protesters last. :)
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Natasha

Sorry but it sounds to me like you had too much time on your hands.

TehBorken

Quote from: Natasha on Feb 22 13 05:50Sorry but it sounds to me like you had too much time on your hands.

Did I say it was me?
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Natasha

Did you say is wasn't?
Don't know if you noticed but the letter "I" is used often. Implying "I" is the one who posted it.

TehBorken

Quote from: Natasha on Mar 01 13 05:32
Don't know if you noticed but the letter "I" is used often. Implying "I" is the one who posted it.

The term "I" is used by the writer to indicate that they are the one narrating the story. It doesn't mean that the person posting the story is one and the same. For example:

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

I didn't write that, Bertrand Russel did. By posting that quote I'm not claiming that I'm him or that I authored the quote.

So no, it wasn't me that wrote that story. I usually put an horizontal line between my comments and the text to indicate that I'm not the author, as I did in that case.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.