Who says the police don't have a sense of humor? The following 15 Police
Comments were taken from actual DallasPolice car videos and distributed by
Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations Officer:
15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."
14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9 . "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run
that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair?? You want me to be fair?? Listen Pal, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."
2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!
1 "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well,
you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."
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