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Author Topic: kits needs some help!  (Read 3747 times)

kits

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kits needs some help!
« on: Feb 15 06 03:13 »
I posted this on DV too, but I do know that there is a lot of Vancouverites out here on DS.

[TABLE id=Table2 style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: midnightblue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=10 width="100%" border=0][TBODY][TR bgColor=gainsboro][TD style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold" vAlign=top align=left]kits [/TD][TD colSpan=2][img title="" height=15 alt="" hspace=3 src="http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/icon_posticon.gif" width=15 border=0] [FONT size=1]Posted - 2/15/2006 3:13:16 PM[/FONT] [HR noShade SIZE=1]Ok, I have a friend who has been in our group of buddies for about 6 years.  He is always getting hilself into fights and has always had a pretty short fuse, but nothing to major to really send out alarms.  recently (past 3 months) he has actually picked a few fights while out with co-workers, ending up beating his opponent to a bloody mass....  going way to far these days.  (Keeping in mind, we are a group of young professionals, not a bunch of hoodlums)
All this info aside that I have on him....  
this last weekend, he was caught pushing his girlfriend around.  She is also a friend of mine, and i have talked to her since.  This is the first time that this has ever happend (and I believe her)...  he has now come to her to ask obout help.

So my question is this:

Does anyone out here have experience dealing with local counselors, or therapists?  Anyone they can recomend?

This guys problems are far beyond something that I can responsiblly help with, but he is genuinely looking for help.

Any ideas would be great. [/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

kevlar

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #1 on: Feb 15 06 03:34 »
Hey Kits,[/DIV]I had the same problem, minus the girlfreind that I know of. Co-worker, friend, had short man complex. Ex Navy, ex boxer guy who was a real hot head. We had to kick him off our baseball and volleyball team and stopped hanging around him altogether, all this after about 10 years. Just couldn't deal with him anymore. I actually got into 2 physical fights with him and thats totally not my style. I know that he's in councelling and actually has a guy that is his sponsor that he can call at anytime when he feels aggressive. If you want, I'll try to get a number from him.. You can get my email addy from the Pure one.

purelife

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #2 on: Feb 15 06 03:36 »
You can get my email addy from the Pure one.

You guys can also PM each other.  ;) Sorry kits.  I wish that I could help.  I'm sure that there are support groups out there.

Legion

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #3 on: Feb 15 06 03:47 »
Why you dirty cross-posting mofo ;)
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kevlar

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #4 on: Feb 15 06 03:49 »
Thanks purelife. I didn't even realize this forum had that feature.. [img alt=worship.gif src="http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/cute_smileys/worship.gif" border=0]very cool.


Legion

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #5 on: Feb 15 06 03:54 »
I PMed someone awhile back but I think it got lost in the system.
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kits

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #6 on: Feb 15 06 03:55 »
thanks kevlar.

I will look into it tomorrow.. I have to run now though.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Legion

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #7 on: Feb 15 06 04:01 »
The important thing is not to panic.
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tenkani

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #8 on: Feb 15 06 04:31 »
I have no advice to give, but good luck to you and your friend.
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Tor Johnston

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #9 on: Feb 15 06 07:12 »
When a guy starts pushing his girl around, he is in need of some angermanagement skills. Otherwise the situation tends to escalate, and itlooks like your friend wants to stop it before it progresses.
The City of Van should have some social programs set up and if yourfriend isn't worried about being stigmatized by attending a fewseminars or one-on-ones, he will be able to learn to identify thetriggers.

Brent

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #10 on: Feb 15 06 07:46 »
I don't think guys fighting guys is a big deal, we've all known the type growing up. But, when a guy hurts ladies/weaker people on purpose then it's an emerging trait. Hope the guy can learn to control it with sedatives,counselling.  The girl should only give him one chance!  Good luck helping out, Kits.

Tor Johnston

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #11 on: Feb 15 06 08:06 »
One chance only. I actually heard a woman say her husband only hit her"when she deserved it", and that wasn't a line from a film. I got fromthat if a woman allows it, the guy is empowered to repeat it.

P.C.

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #12 on: Feb 15 06 09:59 »
Good perspective....that's EXACTLY the way it is.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #13 on: Feb 15 06 10:04 »
Number 1 Rule in Relationships [/DIV]NEVER HIT YOUR PARTNER.Period.
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

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Re: kits needs some help!
« Reply #14 on: Feb 15 06 10:27 »
Well put sportsdude.....it's not OK from either side.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

 

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